Sex and Intimacy: You'd know by now

You'd know by now

By Anonymous - 15/01/2016 04:51 - United States - Burbank

Today, I was going to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. He couldn't get hard and pouted about it for nearly two hours. When I went to comfort him, he said, "Man, I hope I'm not gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 418

You deserved it 2 452

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Same thing different taste

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 540

You deserved it 5 710

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 359

You deserved it 570

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 978

You deserved it 5 502

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 766

You deserved it 6 651

Bad, bad, bad

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:30 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 422

You deserved it 15 678

Secret unlocked

By Anonymous - 25/01/2010 08:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times, he told me, "Why? It feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence, then he then replied, "I'm not gay, I swear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 054

You deserved it 5 213

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 989

You deserved it 7 440

By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 422

You deserved it 4 506

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 793

You deserved it 5 285

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 433

You deserved it 9 835

A07 48

Friday 15 January 2016 11:56

Five comments and not a single one advocating dumping, this just might turn out to be a good year.

Binglebeee 16

Friday 15 January 2016 11:53

Sounds like he's feeling a little immasculated. Just tell him it's first time jitters and it's nothing to worry about, it happens to a lot of people and does not mean he's gay, just a little nervous!

Comments

captainsmegma 12

Saturday 16 January 2016 3:03

Maybe he just came from a massive sex session with his other girlfriend and was basically ****** out for the night.

pasupathymuthu 16

Saturday 16 January 2016 5:52

I would recommend Kegels Exercises for him.

yellowzinnias 20

Saturday 16 January 2016 7:53

Nah, if he can't get hard from the start, there's something else going on. One of my exes could get hard just fine, but the minute his penis touched my moist girl parts, he withered. We ended up breaking up, and now he is married to a nice man named Ben.

TheNewGuy03 28

Saturday 16 January 2016 8:19

Yep, every guy who doesn't just spring a boner instantly and just start thrusting is unequivocally gay...

yellowzinnias 20

Sunday 17 January 2016 4:04

That's pretty much the OPPOSITE of what I just said. I feel bad for you that your reading comprehension is so poor. Maybe getting an education would help your self-esteem?

yellowzinnias 20

Sunday 17 January 2016 4:11

Also, the second part is a true anecdote from my life, so I don't have to have it validated by someone with a penis to share it. Sad face for you!

popularonion 33

Sunday 17 April 2016 21:59

"Today, I typed the phrase 'Sad face for you!' FML"

rethic 5

Saturday 16 January 2016 20:00

You can't just "confront" someone about it. He was just nervous it happens to lots of guys. Why would you sit around for 2 hours being awkward about it? You should just keep fooling around doing other stuff and the problem will generally fix itself.

Busco7 6

Saturday 16 January 2016 22:27

Sorry to hear that.. The nerves are most likely on overdrive and he's overly worried on how to rock your world.. Foreplay works but It would also be ineffective if he's still anxious & nervous. All you need is to make him feel relaxed... Maybe crack a funny joke or two about something totally unrelated to sex and the noodle situation to release the tension, and then get back into it..