Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML
Today, I met a girl at an airport before an early flight, after I’d only had 3 hours sleep. She moved here for a job in radiology. We joked, laughed, flirted, and parted ways. I told my friend, who asked why I hadn't get her number. I joked I would’ve if she'd been a doctor. He then says, “Radiologists ARE doctors, duh!” FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML
Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML
Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Guess the conversation never took off.
Sebastian2022 22
Next time she calls you to ask for a ride, text her "I'm not even picking up the phone". :) easy as that.
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Comments (150)
ScotterTheOtter 8
try not having a raging boner next time, that's usually a give away lol
janed0e92 9
isn't she desperate lol
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Saying "not all ____" are like that is really kind of a moot point. Everyone knows not everyone is a certain way, but when the overwhelming majority are, you have to assume to keep safe (especially as a woman). A lot of men can and do feel entitled to women, anyone recall that event that was just in the news pertaining to that particular thing? That being said, the woman in this FML took it too far and went from erring on the side of caution to just being rude. You should make it clear to her that don't want that and you won't be doing her any favors ever again.
epilepticloh 20
Maybe when you agreed to "be her ride" she took it in another way
plunkit 6
1. Are you hot for her? 2. Have you told anyone? Anyone? 3. Have you told EVERYONE at work? ... there's your problem.
lbanks_fml 10
Yeah, she wants to sleep with you!! Tap that!!
ninjacow123 6
Should've drove off, would've been funny
uzee 29
If it is so, then the "still" she used means that she imagined you asking her out once. In that case she's attracted to you, so go grab the chance
LennyComa 39
The correct response to that statement is "Oh Thank god, The amount of Viagra it would take for me to reach tumescence for you is really bad for my health"
katties 27
She's kinda weird... Why would she ask a person if he can pick her up from the airport in their first conversation? If you asked a person you don't know to drive you, you at least own the person a) a nice conversation with the drive or b) gas money. Or is she planning to pay with something else since she used the word "still"? Wonder how the rest of the drive was...