Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML
Today, I met a girl at an airport before an early flight, after I’d only had 3 hours sleep. She moved here for a job in radiology. We joked, laughed, flirted, and parted ways. I told my friend, who asked why I hadn't get her number. I joked I would’ve if she'd been a doctor. He then says, “Radiologists ARE doctors, duh!” FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML
Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML
Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Guess the conversation never took off.
Sebastian2022 22
Next time she calls you to ask for a ride, text her "I'm not even picking up the phone". :) easy as that.
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Comments (150)
Kamon97 23
Guess the conversation never took off.
TriggerFinger7 10
So, she assumed that because you picked her up from the airport, you wanted her to repay you in sex?
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
"Don't flatter yourself."
Wakachulak 22
Or she is the one who wants to sleep with OP and has some weird 80's ideas that the man should take the first step.
football98_fml 20
Must've been an awkward ride back...
incoherentrmblr 22
Idk how assumptions make an "ass of you and me." I get the part of making an ass out of the person assuming, but not the other person, OP being this person in this situation...
rawr_ily96 24
#64 That pretty much only applies in more public situations that make others think bad of someone. :P Now if this had happened in a more public setting...
minichamp116 8
#63 Ahhhhh!!! That would have been more than perfect.
justtheotherguy 12
Hey OP you need to read my book " How to get a girl of your choice in 10 days ? " it's not for sale though .. Lol
woainishamu 21
Totally overreacting!
niallo 23
While I agree she overreacted, I'd like to make a suggestion to OP. NEVER get in a car alone with this woman alone again. Also, make a note of this incident and email it to yourself. That will put a time stamp on it if you ever need it. This looks like it could be heading towards harassment charges. Or even worse. If I'm wrong, no harm done. This is a case where overreacting is not a bad thing. Harassment charges are very easy to throw around.
zZLightZz 13
I agree we live in a facist society after all.
Roskie 16
Actual fascism or "fascism is a good word to describe things I don't like" fascism?
sweetbliss3 37
overreacting for sure. she also sounds conceited. who just assumes someone wants to sleep with them? what, people cant just be nice anymore without an ulterior motive?
RowanSpirit 9
She also could have confused him with someone else. We can't say for sure since we don't have her side of it.
millertime911 15
I get that all the time! lol!
jbuckets_404 39
#125: You get a lot of women from the airport informing you that they won't sleep with you? ;-)
Sebastian2022 22
Next time she calls you to ask for a ride, text her "I'm not even picking up the phone". :) easy as that.
Nevermind212 11
No. Go pick her up and start jerking when she gets in
tbro47 23
He should have looked her dead in the eyes and said "oh thank God for a second there I thought you were using me to get laid."
bigjon75 9
Maybe she was just assuming you liked her?
Clioo_fml 17
Or maybe she was just assuming that a lot of people want to sleep with her. I think she's a little pretentious...
MrConcise 35
In all fairness, picking somebody up at the airport is a hassle and generally considered a "friend" obligation. Perhaps she got the impression that he expected something in exchange since they were barely even acquaintances.
jazzy_123 20
op should just laugh and say "don't flatter yourself"
RedPillSucks 33
Friend obligations don't automatically imply sex. If she felt pressure to return some favor, she could have gotten him a gift card. I agree with #58 if this response came out of the blue.
Nevermind212 11
Or came from a country where the taxi fare is you know..
spignona84 11
Third times the charm
doodlecloud 27
Being optimistic here but, it sounds like she thinks you're someone else rather than her just being really stuck up and assuming everyone wants her...maybe you can explain and this will just be a funny story somewhere down the line?
OysterPearls 33
"Haha, hey Becky, remember that time when I picked you up from the airport and you assumed I wanted to have sex with you as payment? Hilarious!" Yeah... No.
doodlecloud 27
Where did 'payment' come from? I said she thought he was someone else, not that she thought he wanted sex as payment. In any case, I don't really see why I have quite so many thumb downs. She said she 'still' wasn't going to have sex with him, which implies that she'd already told him she wouldn't at least once before...if OP's only spoken to her once and that issue didn't come up, then surely it's reasonable to assume she might be confusing him with someone else (most likely a co-worker that she doesn't see in person that often. Possibly even someone who actually HAS been harassing her, meaning her comment wouldn't have even been that out of line.) Obviously commenters seem to have overwhelmingly assumed she's just a total bitch, and maybe that is just the case, but does everyone really think it's completely IMPOSSIBLE that it couldn't just be a mix-up?
ao9s7yashdun 7
Yeah this was my thought as well.
Arjunt 5
Some people think that everyone is trying to sleep with them.
ShowMeKay 20
Funny thing is they're usually the ones that no one wants to be with, even if they're attractive, because their personality is so damn annoying.
missyfiona89 28
oh. how conceited to assume everybody would want to sleep with her. pfft.
crushcrusher 33
followed by awkward silence. :o
A07 48
Why do women always equate niceness with a strong desire to have sex?
aire101 16
Fortunately not all women do. The ones that do are either full of themselves or must have only interacted with some really shitty men in the past.
GentlemanBastard 15
Society dictates that nobody does nice things without expecting something in return. This is why there are so many assholes.
IndridWarm 23
"Something in return" could simply be the favour returned in the future or friendship.