Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML
Today, I met a girl at an airport before an early flight, after I’d only had 3 hours sleep. She moved here for a job in radiology. We joked, laughed, flirted, and parted ways. I told my friend, who asked why I hadn't get her number. I joked I would’ve if she'd been a doctor. He then says, “Radiologists ARE doctors, duh!” FML
Today, I went home with my cute coworker. What started out as a little dirty talk and teasing ended with him admitting he was in a terrible emotional place, then sending me home in an Uber so he could sleep. FML
Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML
Today, as my date and I were climbing into bed, she casually mentioned she’s never had an anonymous one night stand before. We work in the same office; that’s where we met. Apparently, I was always under her radar, and she assumed I was a customer instead of her coworker of two years. FML
Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML
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Top comments
Kamon97 23
Guess the conversation never took off.
Sebastian2022 22
Next time she calls you to ask for a ride, text her "I'm not even picking up the phone". :) easy as that.
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Comments (150)
Sigilwen 24
Tell her your out of her price range
sabine123_fml 5
Should have charged her with sexual harassment
fatherofdragons 2
I think she wanted to have sex with you OP she probably said that to start talking about sex but maybe I'm wrong
Maniaphiliac 6
She likes you, it's a test to see how you react. If it happens again just act like you didn't hear her, keep the charm going and escalate.
marramrammar 2
She is full of herself ! I would have responded - I never even considered you were up to my standards. Watch she will chase you, or she is putting out feelers to see if you were interested
penguin2000 2
Should have said It's ok! I don't need ur various STDs
int15 18
Inflated ego?
faireanjell 5
The next conversation should've been .. I'm not attracted to you you narcissistic bitch ... now get outta my car
QueenofWheels 13
I would have left her at the airport for thinking everybody wants to sleep with her.
ELoni_fml 25
Kick her out of the car and drive off. You don't need bitches like that