Today, I was so busy all the time that I actually got a thrill out of sitting down and taking the weight off my feet. On the toilet. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work, I used my foot to flush the toilet, lost my balance, and ended up catching myself with my foot in the toilet. FML
Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML
Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML
Today, I'm fit, but so exhausted from work that I hardly managed to even climb the stairs. Yet, as soon as I sit on the couch for longer than half an hour, my butt starts hurting. So I guess it’s either reading a book lying on my stomach, which makes my back hurt, or hanging upside down from the ceiling like a bat. FML
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
Today, I managed to take an entire shower without realizing my socks were on. I washed my feet. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I realized just how sedentary both my work and home lives are after I went to the doctor with a rash on my butt and he diagnosed it as bedsores from near constant sitting. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, it's only when my mom knocked on the door and asked, "Are you alright in there?" that I realised that I had been scrolling through the same Instagram feed whilst sat on the toilet for an hour. My legs had gone numb and I'm pretty sure the toilet seat is forever engraved in my arse cheeks. FML
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Top comments
ODBeefalo 10
I feel like this is the norm for blue collar workers? I work 47-50 hours a week in a factory, one of my greatest joys at work is going to the bathroom for 5 minutes.
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Comments (1)
ODBeefalo 10
I feel like this is the norm for blue collar workers? I work 47-50 hours a week in a factory, one of my greatest joys at work is going to the bathroom for 5 minutes.