By Groomzilla? - 28/04/2015 05:32 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, less than a month from our wedding, my fiancé told me that he doesn't trust me and will be cancelling our wedding and new apartment lease if I don't give him all the names, numbers and addresses of my exes. All because I received a text from a wrong number that said, "Hey baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 916
You deserved it 4 002

Same thing different taste

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That's a bit ridiculous. Does he not realize accidents happen?

That is unhealthy lack of trust. If he is that immature or paranoid, maybe it is better if you didn't get married


That's a bit ridiculous. Does he not realize accidents happen?

Yakob_Smirnoff 4

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That's not protective, that's possessive and extremely possessive at that. Demanding that level of control of someone else isn't healthy. Unless this is just the soon-to-be-groom flipping out from wedding jitters, I'd say OP has some serious thinking to do. Anyone this untrusting won't make for a good partner. Sit down and talk with him, OP. maybe suggest some couples counseling before the wedding. But if he holds to his demands and won't work with you, break it off. Marriage won't fix anything and this looks like a big red flag.

Ya, my thoughts exactly. Hopefully this is just groom paranoia and he's never acted like this before. But if he's ever acted like this before or won't back down and continues to be controlling, I would be very worried. Usually when guys get controlling like this and want to know where you are going and who you are hanging out with its because they are abusive. I realize this may just be a freak incident because of wedding jitters, stress and lack of sleep. But be on guard op. I hope this isn't any sign of his true personality and I hope when you confront him and tell him he's being completely unreasonable and that you won't comply, that he backs down and admits he's in the wrong. Best of luck op!

SailorSolaris 43

I quite agree. Seems like a chance to either talk it out, or dodge a bullet.

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Then get counseling. Your partners should have to tiptoe around you in fear you will take something wrong and flip. It's unfair to them, and you shouldn't have to deal with that either.

Hey dumbass, if you're going to be do a spell check, make sure that you're the one that's spelling it right.

1dvs_bstd 41

innit the same spelling as in the fml?

That is unhealthy lack of trust. If he is that immature or paranoid, maybe it is better if you didn't get married

In his/her defense, I see where s/he was coming from, you wouldn't like it if a month before your wedding your fiancée got a text from a random number saying "hey baby". However s/he did take it too far and should have believed OP. (Sorry, I don't know OP's gender)

I agree it wouldn't be nice. However if OP showed the fiance the messages saying "sorry wrong number" the topic should be dropped

I can understand the fiancé's unhappiness about it but still... he clearly doesn't trust OP. I would not marry him if I were in this situation. I'd have a long discussion about this with him before deciding to move forward to marriage, OP. I suggest couples counseling, if you feel like you need to take it a step farther. But, like I said before, a breakup is probably on the horizon

25, I don't think there was a "sorry wrong number text." I think op just knows it's a wrong number because she doesn't know that number and there's no one that would be saying "hey baby" other than her fiancé.

I agree, sorryheadphones. (Love the name, BTW.) This sort of thing is one of the first signs of an abusive relationship, and is even a possible indicator of unfaithfulness on his part. In fact, part of me wonders if this was a set up by the fiancé. I knows it sounds crazy, but some people really are that twisted. They get their entertainment from giving those close to them grief and misery. My ex husband was like that. He would constantly yell at and berate me when I was driving with him, yet he would constantly insist upon me driving, absolutely refusing to do so himself. To be honest, I'm not the best driver, but my driving certainly doesn't warrant that kind of treatment from my passenger, and even if it did, it's completely baffling that someone who hates the way I drive so much would insist upon me chauffeuring 100% of the time. It dumbfounded and frustrated me then. I only recently realized that it was because he wanted an excuse to verbally abuse me. Anyway, OP needs to think long and hard about her relationship. She needs to not only examine this behavior, but his other behavior too for a pattern of aggression and irrationality, even in the subtlest ways, because these things always escalate.

gintwinsmoore 20

#25 maybe OP didn't show it because it was not there to show...s/he knew it was a wrong number and that's all that matters really. No trust here, that's all.

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#6 they aren't married yet. Re-read the FML. OP, probably just as well you found this out now. I'd say he isn't the right one for you if he's like this.

Who cares if they are married. Anyone who experiences controlling behavior like this needs to get out, marriage (or even children) or not. Or the whole "till death do us part" may happen a whole lot sooner.

Whew, you dodged a bullet. Possibly literally.

At least he showed his colors before the wedding.

Steffi3 40

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dposspan 11

I once had an ex that would have "nightmares" that I would cheat and "emotional breakdowns" everytime that someone else got my attention. He even accused me of cheating with my female (and not attractive) roommate in college. It got to the point that I had to change all my contacts to protect my friends and I was expected to put him above my studies or else his feelings would get hurt and the cycle would continue... turns out he was actually the one cheating and was also doing some hard drugs.

In my experience (and this is just mine, im not saying it's the same for everyone) I've found that the reason people accuse their partners of cheating with no evidence at all is often because they are the ones cheating and they're projecting their bad behaviours onto their partner. Sort of a "if I'm not the only one doing it, I'm not so bad" or "if I can do it, anyone can!" Their Way of justifying their own behaviour to themselves. Wow....holy run-on sentence batman!

Maybe postpone the wedding until you talk it out with him more.. Build some better trust between the two of you.

That's a sign of trust issues. You need to run now, fast and far.