Intimacy: Wrong place

Wrong place

By anonymous - 05/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 707

You deserved it 74 094

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Same thing different taste

Don't knock it until you try it

By MiraR - 07/11/2022 04:00

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 145

By Eeeek - 26/08/2010 21:17 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 128

You deserved it 52 910

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 403

You deserved it 12 871

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 257

You deserved it 18 025

By henry feingold - 10/06/2011 04:08 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 507

You deserved it 13 066

By Elle(; - 11/08/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 007

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 048

You deserved it 45 875

Get out

By Anonymous - 24/05/2020 05:00

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 101

You deserved it 42 159

Easily scared

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 17:59 - France

Today, I was having some sexy time with my boyfriend, when suddenly he jumped out of the bed, screaming. Not having my glasses on, it took me few seconds to understand that a voyeurist cockroach was in the bed with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 166

imustbeinsane 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:05

incorporate them

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:08

Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!

Comments

imustbeinsane 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:05

incorporate them

TheFakeFamilyGuy 9

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:11

That's a messy orgy

yummycupkake 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 13:15

you're a dog for having sex in a Pet Shop

nmearayta 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 13:44

I'm more of a snake guy myself

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:01

Op, you couldn't even wait till you got off work? You could have web done it in your car. No self control.

ashtin85 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:02

how romantic......

KingGeorgeGal 12

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:05

I honestly don't know how this is a FML , I saw I in moderate and I voted no because it's just dumb. It's not like you got caught and you deserved it for not locking the cage.

ollierobs 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:29

I guess they wanted to **** like rabbits.

dolphincheddar 10

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:10

that's super kinky. teach me your ways oh great one

iSitt 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:52

if they had waited till they got to the car, he would have written an fml about getting arrested.

whiskuit 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 16:53

Salamanders are slimy.

shannonreneee 11

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:21

Male salamanders drug and rape the females.

musiclexii124 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:11

Really.. a PET STORE!? Do you not have a bedroom?

scrapmetal58 9

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:43

Who let the Salamanders out? Squeak, Squeak, Squeak, Squeak, Squeak! (For this song salamanders squeak.)

Its_A_Trap 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 18:52

I want squeaking pet salamanders.

GCr4ck3rs 6

Tuesday 5 July 2011 19:47

Why was a salamander cage in the janitors closet?

MissBoo101 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:28

more of rightly interrupted, I was going nuts tying to figure out my my dogs keep humping! you scarred them!!!!

rawrlily 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 21:36

Leapin' lizards!

jaint 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 3:37

salamanders FTW ?

bluekid7 5

Wednesday 6 July 2011 6:43

mammals can't have all the fun

SadinSherman 16

Wednesday 6 July 2011 15:36

When I first saw your picture,I thought she was were pancakes on her head.

Mau5Trap 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 21:10

#153 but she is.....

dchico22 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 8:58

ydi for being stupid

Epsilonyx 15

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:06

Are you stupid or are you just stupid?

btown1616 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 13:25

hey be nice... he's just trying to be kinky ;)

Perksofbeingawal 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 20:02

I think he's both actually.

RainbowHeadache 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 23:43

I was thinking the same thing, 3. Though, would he have still said he was "rudely" interrupted if it had been his boss who had walked in on him? (or crawled up his leg.)

kkspears 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:06

ha!!!!

pinkietuskadaro 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:39

kkspears wat is that a picture of

Jacobt24 19

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:27

it looks like a scratch drawing of a giraffe

MQ_was_here 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:07

YDI for various reasons but top one being why the janitor's closet? LUH-me.

master_blaster 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 22:24

I think the real question would be why NOT, the janitors closet.

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:08

Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!

yummycupkake 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 13:34

I dont think they could wait and make it to the bedroom. better there then the car lmao ;)

jrmetz 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:27

6- where's your sense of adventure?? Lol

Jacobt24 19

Tuesday 5 July 2011 17:28

What's with all the FML's about sex in public?

Mirorbo 26

Wednesday 6 July 2011 0:41

jrmetz -- I have plenty of sense of adventure. My sense just doesn't require getting it on in public. I find it a lot more romantic in the bedroom, and a lot more comfortable. Then again, I'm not a horny teenager who thinks that they need a high score for banging.

kelixo24 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 1:35

the car's windows would fog up like in the titanic.

jrmetz 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 14:38

6- A.) Neither am I, far from being a teenager, much less a horny one... B.) I was half just messin with ya, so lighten the hell up; I honestly don't care where people choose to have sex ... C.) I'm not sure how sex in a janitors closet surrounded by salamanders is 'public'

iSpasticFantasti 14

Wednesday 6 July 2011 17:24

123 - Hey, totally normal teenager here is a bit offended. >;(

atkehre 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 2:49

get em 152! haha

DatDudeChrisR 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:08

YDI for nothing paying attention

chaoticnh 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:15

"for nothing paying attention"? -_- smh

barlessprison 16

Tuesday 5 July 2011 15:26

Yeah obviously he deserves it for committing such a blasphemous act. I mean what was he thinking by not being on the lookout for an army of salamanders while having sex??