Intimacy: Wrong place

Wrong place

By anonymous - 05/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 701

You deserved it 74 019

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Same thing different taste

Don't knock it until you try it

By MiraR - 07/11/2022 04:00

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex. With my stuffed turtle. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 143

By Eeeek - 26/08/2010 21:17 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 124

You deserved it 52 871

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 398

You deserved it 12 862

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 243

You deserved it 18 017

By henry feingold - 10/06/2011 04:08 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 489

You deserved it 13 045

By Elle(; - 11/08/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I felt something tickling my neck. Thinking it was him, I ignored it. Just when I was about to climax, I looked down to see a lizard on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 998

You deserved it 250

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 033

You deserved it 45 821

Get out

By Anonymous - 24/05/2020 05:00

Today, while I was working in a department store, two 15-year-old kids started having sex in a changing room. When I found them, the boy pulled out and said, "You want in, bitch?" I then had to prevent his jealous, half-naked girlfriend from murdering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 325

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 03/08/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 096

You deserved it 42 129

Easily scared

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 17:59 - France

Today, I was having some sexy time with my boyfriend, when suddenly he jumped out of the bed, screaming. Not having my glasses on, it took me few seconds to understand that a voyeurist cockroach was in the bed with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 163

imustbeinsane 2

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:05

incorporate them

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 5 July 2011 12:08

Save the sex for at home, darling. Or a hotel/motel room! Anywhere else and you're BEGGING for trouble!

Comments

EagorLuvsBigFoot 8

Tuesday 5 July 2011 13:58

Well, what're you complaining about? This is Obviously your fault Op.

Quest_ 13

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:03

YDI for being - quite presumably - a pimply, apathetic, incompetent teenage employee fingering his girlfriend in the back room. Take a little pride in your work, you chump.

badmamajama123 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 21:46

he wasnt fingering her, he was ******* her. get it straight bitch

master_blaster 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 22:36

it looks like he takes a lot of pride in his work if by "girlfriend" he really means lizard. heheh

Quest_ 13

Tuesday 5 July 2011 23:33

I got it straight from your sister, douchecake.

iSpasticFantasti 14

Wednesday 6 July 2011 17:33

34 - God damn, I get it that a majority of teenagers aren't exactly helping me put in saying this, but come on, I'm a teenager and I'm not sex-driven and like hell I'd let some guy I'd known for a few months take my virginity! Christ! Some of us teens have morals and brains as well as a mature attitude. I have as little faith in teenagers as everyone else but man does it piss me off that there are some good kids out there that are judged just because of their age.

budbad8 0

Wednesday 6 July 2011 20:32

funny

iSpasticFantasti 14

Wednesday 6 July 2011 17:33

chaoticnh 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:13

salamander fuckhouse- a varying style from the alligator fuckhouse

marcyfrances 4

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:19

perhaps you shouldn't be doing this at work?????

OfficeNinja 5

Tuesday 5 July 2011 14:20

what kind of pet store keeps animals (for sale, AKA "inventory") in a "janitors closet", where potentially toxic chemicals are stored? quit having imaginary sex with your imaginary girlfriend, get out, and try to meet actual people.