Work, Coworkers and Funny how?: Worst workplace ever

Worst workplace ever

By maya - 29/03/2021 20:01

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 76

Work Coworkers Funny how?

Mother of the year

Good kid

Thanks guys

By AAA guy - 04/02/2015 16:02 - United States

Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 262

You deserved it 5 537

By Anonymous - 04/10/2013 03:36 - United States - Houston

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 823

You deserved it 3 281

By AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse - 28/08/2013 13:25

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 152

You deserved it 3 439

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 105

By awkwardaf3 - 12/12/2016 01:13 - United States - Bel Air

Today, as I squatted down to get a snack, my pajama pants ripped wide open. I guess the universe is try to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 396

You deserved it 1 826

By SexyPlayer9 - 24/07/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 488

You deserved it 66 076

By leahkasscar - 06/12/2017 00:00 - United States

Today, I kissed my 3.5 GPA goodbye because my English teacher was too caught up planning her parrot's birthday party to put in the credit I deserve for three different essays I completed for her class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 187

You deserved it 360

By arekusa - 23/06/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 264

You deserved it 3 467

By assgoblins piss me off - 06/05/2014 20:52 - Canada - Camrose

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 121

You deserved it 5 574

By Angie - 24/03/2011 19:07 - South Africa

Today, my twelve year old neighbour decided to give a Hannah Montana concert in her backyard, starring herself. Unfortunately, she only knew three lines of the song "The Best of Both Worlds" and screamed them repeatedly at the top of her lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 326

You deserved it 4 687

By Anonymous - 12/09/2012 16:05 - United States - Hacienda Heights

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 253

You deserved it 3 808

By SoulStormIV - 12/05/2016 03:03 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my obese dog for a walk, since she hasn't had one in a long time. She was doing great, until we were about a mile from our house. She plopped down on the ground and wouldn't move. Nobody was home so I had to carry her all the way back to our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 804

You deserved it 5 431

By homedoggieo - 14/07/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 750

You deserved it 4 017

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 14/04/2020 08:00

Today, I shoved my tits in my boyfriend's face and he chose to continue playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 829

You deserved it 825

By ToddlersWife - 15/06/2014 11:10 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 213

You deserved it 6 081

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 22:00

Today, we were having a little bonfire. At some point, while I was inside, my stupid roommate filled a beer can with lighter fluid and threw it in the fire, resulting in it spewing 5-foot flames, catching the pile of wood and the chair next to it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 550

You deserved it 142

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 740

You deserved it 4 837

By theunluckylifeofme - 26/06/2013 20:33 - United States - Gilroy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 665

You deserved it 5 082

Caught the bug

By STFU! - 03/04/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend has been randomly screaming out, “Coronavirus! Hehehe!” in a scarily accurate Cardi B impression. She’s been doing it for days and refuses to stop. I’m starting to think facing the damn virus might be less annoying at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 209

By babyboomerang - 12/05/2009 11:16 - United States

Today, I spent hours baking a multi-layered, detailed cake from scratch for my mom's birthday. It took two seconds for my dog to devour the cake while I picked up a spoon I dropped on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 769

You deserved it 6 647

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 01:03 - United States

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 930

You deserved it 41 953

Sensual moment

By Ekh0es - 11/04/2021 15:30 - United States - Garfield

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub when she started to breathe heavily. I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck. She then turned around and said, "Tell my roommate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 1 776

It's complicated

By Anonymous - 23/04/2021 22:02 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my partner of 5 years broke up with me via text. We were talking about starting a family just last week. We have a foster puppy together and moved into a new house a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 82

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 827

You deserved it 1 666

By Anonymous - 27/12/2012 02:09 - United States - Roswell

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 038

You deserved it 24 436

By cameltoeyourface - 26/07/2010 00:42 - United States

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 796

You deserved it 10 349

Is that even legal?

By Monkeys aren't pets - 07/12/2020 23:04 - United States - Millersville

Today, I found out in addition to the ADHD teenager they scream at, my boyfriend's parents are planning on getting a monkey. I work at an animal shelter, so now I'm obligated to have a long conversation with them about what a crap idea that is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 78

By Rebecca - 13/06/2012 23:50 - Australia - Dural

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 254

You deserved it 34 702

Grammar rules, OK!

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 12:11 - United States

Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 039

You deserved it 9 360

By birdguts - 31/01/2011 02:34 - United Kingdom

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 925

You deserved it 5 235

By Eheath12Jheath14 - 12/07/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend and I welcomed our first son into the world. After I gave birth, he said he was going home to make sure the house was ready for baby. A few hours later, he was tagged in a Facebook photo by a mutual friend at the local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 232

You deserved it 472

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 10:59 - United Kingdom

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 839

You deserved it 2 790

By Anonymous - 06/04/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a restaurant to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 224

You deserved it 134

By coolcat10156 - 08/07/2015 07:04 - United States - Keller

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 980

You deserved it 4 589

By Ciabatta - 20/11/2008 11:10 - France

Today, it's my one year anniversary with my husband. I put on a sexy outfit, red dress and slinky underwear, and waited for him to get home. He walked in the door and asked me with a quizzical look if I was going out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 239

You deserved it 3 427

By Herman - 25/02/2010 00:57 - France

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 838

You deserved it 5 792

By knee pain - 09/12/2013 19:17 - United States

Today, I woke up in my hospital bed after having knee surgery, on the wrong knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 007

You deserved it 4 021

By anonymous - 24/05/2016 03:41 - United States - Manchester

Today, I got put in a speech impediment class because apparently I have a lisp. No, my tongue is just swollen, and I can't talk very well because of it. I've talked normally for the past 17 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 151

You deserved it 737

By Sadness - 07/10/2013 18:55 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 734

You deserved it 17 486

By Anonymous - 22/06/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 995

You deserved it 84 389

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Top comments

black_dragonfly13 6

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Monday 29 March 2021 20:09

How did you mistake coat for poop?

protoskore 27

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Monday 29 March 2021 20:31

reminds me of an old British joke Q: what's brown and sounds like a bell? A: DUNG!

Comments

black_dragonfly13 6

Send a private message

Monday 29 March 2021 20:09

How did you mistake coat for poop?

protoskore 27

Send a private message

Monday 29 March 2021 20:31

reminds me of an old British joke Q: what's brown and sounds like a bell? A: DUNG!

peithecelt 28

Send a private message

Monday 5 April 2021 3:36

is fml doing auto translation now and this one only makes sense in a language other than English? Because in English, I don't get how these could get confused.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 27

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 22

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 182

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 256