Wanker and Intimacy: Weirdo - FML

Weirdo

By concernedsis - 04/02/2016 14:53 - United States - Atlanta

Spicy

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 736

You deserved it 1 844

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Spicy

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 693

You deserved it 3 065

By ellarose - 10/04/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 938

You deserved it 3 266

Privacy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 890

You deserved it 253

By Spawn_of_Satan - 27/03/2009 15:18 - Hong Kong

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 123

You deserved it 7 426

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 969

You deserved it 3 243

Baseless assumptions

By afafakfhsg - 19/02/2011 00:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 380

You deserved it 12 094

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 430

You deserved it 28 100

By why - 28/07/2014 01:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 700

You deserved it 5 525

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 200

By Anonymous - 05/12/2015 03:55 - United States - Portland

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 359

You deserved it 1 711

Next

Top comments

jen1097 25

Friday 5 February 2016 1:06

Let's hope it's just gossip...

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Friday 5 February 2016 1:40

Did he also do it in a drug test cup?

Comments

InsanityVerge 8

Friday 5 February 2016 6:53

you need to stop that gossip right away. blood is more important then the shitty people spreading them. Also your brother is there your whole life. your reputation will constantly change. lastely fml is on your brothers part. your poor brother

flyingsquierrel 4

Friday 5 February 2016 12:46

look on the bright side, it didn't turn out to be you

DanineenoSwag 12

Sunday 7 February 2016 0:09

I actually do this

Toksik_Kid 14

Thursday 11 February 2016 19:56

*goes to the White House*

amazed_71 14

Monday 15 February 2016 16:31

I wonder what kind of trail he leaves. I wouldn't think he would make it known to whomever he's visiting. This gives you the chance to tell him about it, though. Maybe, if it's true, he will change his behavior.

max_sad 4

Monday 6 June 2016 8:47

I think I might be your brother

Keywords

Management Work Jealousy Love Relatable Mental health Relationship advice Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Students Exams Pranks Weird Argument AITA Insects Fear

The Top

Today, I had a whole month off before I started my new job. On day six, I had to go to the ER because of a kidney stone and had to get a ureteral stent. In two weeks they will remove the stone, then another week until they remove the stent. I will be recovered just in time for my first day of work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 72

Here's the latest video from our friends at 10secondtraumas.com, enjoy! Kay Akana, co-founder of 10secondtraumas.com, is also a stand-up comedian in LA. Do go and check out her performances, she did manage to make us lot laugh! ...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 12

The Top

Today, my boss made sure to do one last thing before he retired. Fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 055

You deserved it 298

Today, my boyfriend was inside a cell phone store talking to a sales guy while I waited outside. I sent him a text, not realizing that the guy was using his phone to call customer service. A topless photo of me shows up on his phone when I text him. The sales guy looked. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 548

You deserved it 58 941

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 702

You deserved it 3 554

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 226

You deserved it 8 513

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 575

You deserved it 9 070

Today, I've had chairs thrown at me, kicks have hit me in the nuts and I've heard "I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch" several times. I work at a kindergarten. And this is a good day compared to what I'm used to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 176

You deserved it 3 858