Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Draconium 8
Technically someone WAS being murdered. Spiders have feelings too. ;_:
kitkat2701 18
That must've been awkward to explain...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (95)
shinikageWolf 15
"Oh hi human, you look sad, it's okay" holds hand, comforting. "HOLY SHIT A SPIDER AHHHHH!"
MortenM 17
Yea. nothing better than knowing that if you get killed, tour neighbour will report it.
radetzkymarch 4
Just as I was reading this fml I noticed something moving in the corner of my eye. There was a huge spider climbing up the wall right next to me. And that wasn't even the first time. Once a spider fell from the ceiling, right onto my hand. I can relate to how you felt, OP.
justkeez 11
RIP spider
RomeoSucks 4
Ten minutes later huhn
bibz715 1
And this kids is how i didn't meet your mother..
yeongji 31
At least this shows that your neighbours care and are not the type to act like nothing happened.
bella_bunz0415 10
Did the cops actually believe your story
rooneygirl420 13
Oh wow I had a good laugh at that lol. I'm so sorry that happened to you though. I probably would have screamed bloody murder because of the spider too
alistoir 5
Well that escalated quickly..