Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, I was watching a Facebook reel of this guy who tried to kill a giant spider with a shoe. All of a sudden the spider disappeared, then came running up his arm towards me so fast it spooked the fuck outta me and I threw my phone hard as hell down the stairs! The worst part is I’m sure he knew that was gonna happen. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my arm. After a quick dance in a fit of panic, I managed to scramble onto my bed. I thought I would stand up to see if I could spot the spider and maybe kill it. I was then promptly knocked unconscious by my ceiling fan. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
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Top comments
Draconium 8
Technically someone WAS being murdered. Spiders have feelings too. ;_:
kitkat2701 18
That must've been awkward to explain...
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Comments (95)
Fatboi8989 4
that's crazy. i would scream louder next time spite the neighbours
SuperMew 22
Good God, I would adore having neighbors who call the cops when it sounds like you are in trouble. My grandmother fell down and spent two hours calling for help and her neighbors just turned the TV up louder.
JVIarijke 24
Why the fuss about a little spider?
Narttu 20
Never heard of arachnophobia?
shutupmichaela 18
because they're evil, evil bastards
kozzard 17
they eat mosquitos...they aren't all bad
Rainhawk94 27
Overreacted just a bit
150493x 29
This is not an overreaction. People have different levels of anxiety and unfortunately panic attacks are part of it. It varies with the individual as well as what triggers them. I had one for the first time this year and it was really scary.
tuckit 28
you stole this from a norwegian newspaper... and it where a man that this happend to.
Retrokitty 9
*hastily kicks spiders dead body under the couch*
chloem103 9
I usually vacuum large spiders li find Inside.. Other wise I try to put them outside
tbabyfosho 7
Uuh, I liked this before i read the try to put them outside part. I can barely look at spiders let alone pick one up and put it outside!! YIKES!! Gives me the heebie jeebies!! :(
buckdharma 38
He had admired you from afar. When he touched your hand his spidey senses tingled. When you smashed him with your shoe it caused his heart to break. The tragic end to A Bug's Life.
CuMorrigu 14
Congratulations! I called 911 the other day after firing two shots and telling them that, and it still took 45 minutes for them to get there.
olpally 33
You're going to jail, you son of a bitch. Lol.
Jst4kicks 16
hide the evidence! throw the spider in s toilet