Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
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Top comments
ObsessedWithMe 13
You're dating the dream woman of many men. Don't complain.
Liamj774 36
She's a keeper?
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Comments (141)
Turtle_Man 21
that's hot!
Khariau 8
A bit of madness has never harmed... At least she didn't scream her ex-boyfriend's name!
SousapCody 6
You should just role play transformers. Tell her to turn your bumblebee into an Ironhide. And don't forget, "Autobots, pull out!".
pepsi_ftw 13
Autobots roll out lol
Abracadavre_fml 9
So, where's the FML part?
bobslawnservice 16
As far as fetishes go this one is pretty minor. Could be worse, she could have something for Cleveland Steamers or something.
RagingWill 17
Dunno what that is and I'm scared to google it.
Kibaruto 33
Doesn't matter, had sex. With a decepticon. A female one. God I'm so sorry, I give you all permission to kill me.
roxasfightshard 0
Lelouch?
Miss_Lisaa 16
I prefere Bumblebee. That yellow.. Totally turn me on. *_*
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Check your car. It may be more than meets the eye. It also may be Megatron.
chris829 8
I'll take her!