Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
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Top comments
ObsessedWithMe 13
You're dating the dream woman of many men. Don't complain.
Liamj774 36
She's a keeper?
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Comments (141)
Earth_Bound 0
I hate how everyone on FML Is so uptight about EVERYTHING! See, without the lunatic part, this would make an awesome MLIA, and the MLIAer would claim to have the best girlfriend in the world!
aaalllliiiii 6
On the other hand at least you're getting pussy although it did get ruined at the end...
little_one 20
Really megatron? I would have guessed bumblebee, he is the shit.
Threnody666 19
I see nothing wrong with this woman. She is in fact, awesome!!
Zacham 5
she's perfect
LDloodle 2
And that's the first time you made her ******?
redheadblonde 4
Please, I know guys who would kill for girls to have that fantasy. Try being a guy.
EdenLis 14
A made up FML.
DoxIxHAVExTo 10
^ Win.
tooney_fml 8
Do not let girl go anywhere. I would love to have a girlfriend as nerdy as her