Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my husband and I were about to have sex. As soon as I got on top, he started speaking in a robot voice, then demanded that I call him "The Fuckinator." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML
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Top comments
ObsessedWithMe 13
You're dating the dream woman of many men. Don't complain.
Liamj774 36
She's a keeper?
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Comments (141)
TheNewGuy03 29
I might be bawling with laughter so hard I wouldn't be able to achieve ******, but that is the single coolest and most hilarious thing I have ever seen in recent history. ******' awesome.
darkzero_omega 0
I agree with most of the people here youre taking it waaaaaaaay to seriously. You need to man the **** up go.to the Halloween store and by the out fit and the voice changer a beat the puss up like megatron would beat optimus's face in. Oh and you have to do the megatron laugh.
blowAnut 3
Dude your girlfriend is awsome
Deathhound 27
Haha, too awesome! :-)
Sai_Run614 7
Looks like instead of whips and chains its toy cars that turn into action figures. Bad ass. Haha
MR_RODSQUAD 11
I bet she named her ***** Star Scream too.
LadySigyn 17
69- No, her ***** is named Megatron (;
akiahara 14
Clearly you knew she was nerdy. I fail to see a problem. A great number of individuals would appreciate her... you should, too.
RAWRstover 4
Dude, that's the best woman ever. Just go with it.
kemando 22
That's kinda awesome. Lol
mrboomstik 3
Wife her... NOW