Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
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Top comments
strandedinalimo 0
Why did you do it in a bag that was in your car? You pulled over, throw up outside of your car.
lonely_heart_89 6
why were you even driving while you were heavily hungover in the first place? didn't you take drivers ed??? #1 rule: don't drive when you're drunk/hungover, dummy!!
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Comments (137)
shuuguuy 0
Ha that sucks duude
StoryOfTheYear 15
would you like that double bagged, sir?
blitzen123 0
That is so nasty.
fisheatsbear 6
put it paper in the plastic
MQ_was_here 0
Okay, FYL for driving to begin with.
glen12 0
if u pulled over to blow chunks y not do it off to the side in a garden instead of a paperbag yr car, that's askin for trobble
scarletdragonfly 5
I moderated this one! I passed it, too. =D That totally sucks, OP. Yuck!
ReyEr9412 0
YDI for saying "ralph"
epicfailburger 0
ydi for saying ralph
ImaginaryFoe 1
Agree with #60. Why not open the door since you're already pulled over?
ImaginaryFoe 1
Thank you, pendatic. Now the pieces have all fallen into place and this makes perfect sense.
skillz3333 4
WTF...Ralph???
StoryOfTheYear 15
go look up ralph on dictionary.com and you'll understand what he's saying, if you didn't get it by the context around it
Gorsbug823 0
ydi for saying ralph
Metzler31 17
you totally deserve it for driving home when you are that hungover. you could have killed someone.
joce445 0
131 There hungover, not drunk.
terranada 3
if u stopped ur car why didn't u jus stick ur head out th window? ydi for being stupid
PoptartsKid 13
Ralph is my name :/
strandedinalimo 0
Why did you do it in a bag that was in your car? You pulled over, throw up outside of your car.
ninomunoz 0
@2: i found an awesome parking spot at walmart the other night and didnt realize why it was empty until i stepped out of my car into a pile of vomit. so DON'T tell the OP to just pull over and blow chunks outside his car! it's disgusting!
Sabre300 0
he totally deserves it for drinking in the first place. it seems to me people love hangovers so they drink specifically for one
strandedinalimo 0
I meant to throw up in the bag while it was outside of the car to avoid making a mess in said car. Also what did you expect at Wal-Mart?
Parabolar 1
@ninomunoz....Shut up. DON'T tell people not to puke outside their car just because you were a dumbass and didn't look where you were stepping. I'd rather puke on the ground than in a bag inside my car.
Smackaho 0
LOL you shop at walmart
48Connor 10
everyone does dumbass
TapeMan_3000 0
I only go to wal mart if it an emergency. cause target is way better. and safer. and there's not a bunch of mutated people working there. no offense if you work there by the way.
ReyEr9412 0
YDI for saying "ralph".
austinisme247 0
haha i was gonna say the same thing
capgray 0
come on i thought everyone bagged their own vomit to take home? no? hahajk ur an idiot OP.
holly_chi 0
lol you're just angry because you're probably 14.
apolo_fml 0
I agree with 80, walmart is nasty
MaxMorphine 0
ypur stomach acid prolly ate through it
brettrb 18
haha who says ralph??
royals08 0
I totally agree with strandedinalimo....sorry but YDI.
strandedinalimo 0
Thank you. :)
ski_backwards 0
SHUT. UP. SNICKERDOODLES. and you're ugly.
bunnykins 0
WIN!!
purgarus 6
EPIC WIN!!!!!!
Resquall 0
I like how people deem the most witless insult on the website a "win."
scarletdragonfly 5
She makes good points and has really pretty hair! Jesus.
ImaginaryFoe 1
The snickerhaters are reaching now. She didn't even say anything particular insulting or original. Why hate on her and not everyone else who said the same thing?
Itzmeh 0
Wow get over it. Your sharing a website with someone that shares her opinion. I'm sure that it's the reason comments are allowed.
Hi_Itz_Me 0
WIN!!!!
jakeomatic 0
I still can't figure out whether "I was going to ralph" is a good thing or a bad thing...
FYLDeep 26
Sounds like a personal attack against Ralphs. Where's the mods when you need them? Now excuse me while I use the john.
eaglesfan365 0
YDI for using the term Ralph when there are much better ones available
IfuckedMYlifebad 0
get a life snickerdoodles you chat *****. do you ever get of FML? do you need to read them so your shit life won't seam as shit? so you can make up scenarios to play with you imagionary friends? *****
Resquall 0
Woah, 10, I didn't know your comment number was greater than your age. Slow down; all this big boy talk will hurt your head.
Oigo 0
#2 get the **** out.
Gordonhollis 0
You make me ashamed to be a Ginger, Bickerdoodles.
zeegy2009 0
wtf why is everybody yelling at snickerdoodles
Gordonhollis 0
Because she makes me ashamed to be a Ginger.
fisheatsbear 6
I'm not yelling at her.
jakeomatic 0
THIS IS HOW YOU YELL AT SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET
Resquall 0
35, followed by a stream of exclaimation points
scarletdragonfly 5
They have no life and want to let their fail out on snickerdoodles, who actually has a habit to bitch, but... She's trying to make a point.
sadistmonkey 19
Yes, she's trying to make a point and generally fails at making said point.