Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML
Today, after a night of vomiting and diarrhea, my family forced me to our beach house for the night. I packed my bag and my mum said she put my bag in the car. We get there where we realize she forgot to put my bag in the car. Not a big deal I thought. Five minutes later I shat and vomited myself. FML
Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
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Top comments
strandedinalimo 0
Why did you do it in a bag that was in your car? You pulled over, throw up outside of your car.
lonely_heart_89 6
why were you even driving while you were heavily hungover in the first place? didn't you take drivers ed??? #1 rule: don't drive when you're drunk/hungover, dummy!!
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Comments (137)
thatssomeBS 9
Today, I realized that I come here not for the FML's, but to watch everyone hate on snickerdoodles... FML.
loveydoveybitche 0
@33 hahahahahahaha! it's okay sometimes I find myself doing the same. I'm glad I'm not the only one :p
nommnom_fml 0
haha y didn't u like "Ralph" o_O in the bag. Then tip It out after u did it. if u were such a lazy ass and couldn't just open the door an puke outside in the first place
Elissaa_fml 0
Wow, YDI dumbass
Oigo 0
snickerdoodles is an ugly lose saggy virgin ****** thats tryn 2 spit game at herself on FML.
buckmaster1984 0
olgo you are a little bitch,grow up.
lilubird 0
does anyone feel bad for the OP? I mean cmon we've all been there, feeling sick on the highway after a crazy yet fun night and just want to instantly feel better. :( maybe I just relate too much to OP from back in college but OP baby, FYL.
onnielief 4
Never been drunk enough to either puke or get a hangover, so no, I do not feel sorry for OP.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
the fact that op poses a serious risk to others on the road, makes me feel bad for everyone else. Not "everyone" has been there I know I certainly haven't and will not be at all point. hungover, exhausted or drunk are times when you should not be driving.
onnielief 4
Thats what you get for drinking enough to get a hangover. YDI
Osakhomen 0
FYL! And thank you for not throwing up on the ground. It's gross, and everyone who passes has to look at the nastiness.
astro_plastic 0
A thousand unicorns gently shed glistening tears each time there is a Snickerdoodles-related fight on FML.
scarletdragonfly 5
That... Was beautiful... STOP THE FREAKING UNICORNS FROM CRYING!!!
astro_plastic 0
Finally, someone else who cares!
ImaginaryFoe 1
That touched me right here: <3 Let it end, people. We can't leave the unicorns in pain.
Jumpingmonkey 6
If you were still hungover then you still had enough alcohol in your system for you to exceed the drink drive limit, i propose a re-write: "Today I was drunk driving and chundered in my own car"
qunbee 0
ewwww