By Anonymous

Oddly specific thief

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My steering wheel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1568

You deserved it

112

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Our house, in the middle of our street

Season finale

This Charming Man

By ouch - United States

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7913

You deserved it

41815

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By Richard

Today, my friends and I were kicked out of a Red Robin after the manager told us that our server accused us of making "sexually suggestive gestures" towards her. The gesture in question was the circle game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2047

You deserved it

1415

Favorite

By ilikeirishducks - Italy

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51725

You deserved it

21050

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By hopeless - United States - Annandale On Hudson

Today, I confessed my feelings to the only man I've ever loved. He asked me for dating advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10291

You deserved it

793

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By Anonymous - 6/3/2021 16:58

Stuck on amber

Today, I'm living with my now ex-girlfriend of 9 years in the house we bought together. What's worse than that is the fact that 2 weeks before she told me she was unhappy and ended it, I had bought an engagement ring. I didn't get the chance to ask, and had to return the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1214

You deserved it

182

Favorite

By AudraRose - United States

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37396

You deserved it

3511

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, I was in agonizing pain and couldn't move. My parents said they couldn't take me to the ER until the football game on TV was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35806

You deserved it

3311

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was jacking off casually to a picture of my ex-girlfriend, when all of the sudden, my friend sends me an IM picture of a granny bending over which pops up on my screen. I think my sex life is ruined forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19617

You deserved it

32435

Favorite

By good citizen - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's ex. I decided to be a good person and hold the door for her as we walked into the store. She decided to be the bitch she is and stomp on my foot as she walked through the open doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35851

You deserved it

6740

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23189

You deserved it

45369

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at work at the airport. I got called up to a plane's cargo hold, and thought I'd finally learn how to use the loader. Turns out they just needed me to weigh something down, effectively making me ballast. Then my boss told me to get the hell off, after which I hit my head hard climbing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38089

You deserved it

4433

Favorite

By slappedright - United States

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32671

You deserved it

5993

Favorite

By Thorin - United Kingdom

Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31356

You deserved it

6649

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By Unlucky - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32782

You deserved it

3608

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57193

You deserved it

15455

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By Anonymous - United States - Providence

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27210

You deserved it

2740

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By Anonymous - United States - Colonial Beach

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54095

You deserved it

8911

Favorite

By mikuxxhatsune - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I was the organist for a wedding. I had practiced for weeks, rehearsed with the choir many times and spent hours stressing. During the wedding march, the electric organ malfunctioned, adding on layers of random notes I didn't play. Guess who got yelled at afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3462

You deserved it

257

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I finally found out why I got a D in a class last semester. It was a heavily attendance-based class, and apparently he only marked you present if you participated in class discussion. It was a 100-seat lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2768

You deserved it

312

Favorite

By spanishgirl101 - Canada

Today, I fell down the stairs, and my uncle came rushing over because he thought it was his 1 year old son. He saw me lying on the ground and said, "Oh. It's you," and then left to watch the hockey game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28843

You deserved it

3062

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By roflcopter - United States

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19133

You deserved it

31438

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By Overworked - United States

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39314

You deserved it

3210

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By Oh God

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4934

You deserved it

1379

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17992

You deserved it

97322

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I went on my first date in over a year, and my best friend popped up at the restaurant uninvited. To make it worse, she pulled up a chair right in between us and started an argument with the bartender. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1807

You deserved it

147

Favorite

By Whoops - United States

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29214

You deserved it

42235

Favorite

By lehonX9 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30677

You deserved it

9678

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63172

You deserved it

17444

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By ButtWorthSingingBout - United States - Phoenix

Today, my boyfriend finally played the new guitar I bought to replace the one he broke. He used a $1000 guitar to play me a moving song about my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28099

You deserved it

5558

Favorite

By emma_waters23 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44738

You deserved it

5965

Favorite

By sofakingweetodit - United States

Today, I was shopping for pillows at Bed Bath and Beyond. My husband playfully picked up a pillow pretending to start a pillow fight. I grabbed the largest pillow and chased him with it. When I finally caught up with him, a manager came around the corner. I was escorted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11624

You deserved it

34624

Favorite

By chels - United States - Youngstown

Today, my boyfriend got done with Marine combat training. The first thing he asked for weren't pictures of me but pictures of his car. Missed you too babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27152

You deserved it

3353

Favorite

By Hugh_Jankles - United States

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29181

You deserved it

37186

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41363

You deserved it

2792

Favorite

By James - United Kingdom - Cirencester

Lost

Today, I was having a good time drinking with a few friends. Next thing I know, I'm walking down an unknown street, with just one shoe, no wallet and no phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

690

You deserved it

1554

Favorite

By Sarah grace

Today, I challenged my husband to look after our twins by himself all day, like I normally do. When I got home, both babies had on clean nappies and clothes, dinner was cooked, the house was spotless, and 3 loads of washing were done. Smug bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2514

You deserved it

7752

Favorite

By Married Life 101

Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2377

You deserved it

189

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25754

You deserved it

2499

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, while talking on the phone with my long distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" for his papers. After I objected he told me, "well you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51258

You deserved it

5858

Favorite

By mzgabbster - United States

Fright Night

Today, I was having the most wonderful bath. The water was steaming, the bubbles were bubbly, and I was reading a really good book. I put my book down to yawn and looked to my right. My gaze was met by the lovely face of my brother's pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37970

You deserved it

3344

Favorite

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Top comments

By slowhandjp | 16

#7897332 - Monday 13 April 2020 14:38

The same thing like that happens in Japan very often.

By RichardPencil | 30

#7897356 - Monday 13 April 2020 15:54

That's one way to keep you on the straight and narrow path!

COMMENTS

By slowhandjp | 16

#7897332 - Monday 13 April 2020 14:38

The same thing like that happens in Japan very often.

By John Nemeth | 14

#7897335 - Monday 13 April 2020 14:42

Dam wheel bandits strike again!

I thought they got locked up after that kid thwarted their plans

By RichardPencil | 30

#7897356 - Monday 13 April 2020 15:54

That's one way to keep you on the straight and narrow path!

By sickerthanyou | 13

#7897413 - Monday 13 April 2020 19:02

Well, now you can finally buy a quick release steering wheel to go with the helmet and gloves!

By nano123 | 13

#7897507 - Tuesday 14 April 2020 1:45

Oh you’re lucky it was steering coverfor me that was gone

By lifeis4me | 20

#7897540 - Tuesday 14 April 2020 7:08

Ordering a steering will is cheaper than buying an entirely new car