By thanks, fuckface - 16/11/2012 19:42 - United States - Parachute

Spicy
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 055
You deserved it 4 135

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

That's fucking awesome haha

Normally I'd be offended that a Lord of the Rings reference would turn you off, but no matter how awesome he is, Gollum and sex are thoughts that should never be mixed. Ever.

Comments

That's fucking awesome haha

Take it as a compliment OP. You're mother fucking precious.

Yeah, sounds awesome.

That sh** is funny as fuck, i just died xD

But you're a snowman! Snowmen can't die! They melt! Unless you're frosty, then you should give back the mans damn hat you thief!

#83, why did you edit "shit", but not "fuck"?

If you can't hand LOTR references don't go in my room.

Maybe he's..... IDK what he is.

I would have fallen off the bed laughing xD that's hilarious!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Did you know that there is this pretty epic button for your comment? *sarcasm*

#2 I'm guessing that's why they posted it on "FUCK My Life."

Well imagine that! On a site about people's messed up lives? Who would ever expect someone to have something sucky happen to the on here? I am certainly shocked. Thank you for the riveting commentary!

I think we need at least two more comments informing 2 on her mistake, she definitely didn't get it the first time guys.

24- Funnily enough, there's a button for yours too...

2 YOUR COMMENT IS BAD, AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

Ew that is overused. And awkward to read.

Yes there is a button. There's a button for everything isn't there -_-.

Lol the fuck? Weird.

I think you reacted appropriately haha, no dump him comment but honestly, what was he thinking?

Did anyone else not get what she just said? ^

Go home 4! Youre drunk!!!

She said something along the lines of: I feel your reaction was appropriate. I am not going to make a dump him comment, but I must say what was he thinking? ;)

Things make so much more sense when worded properly

We need Doc Bastard's translator again

Maybe it would have made more sense if I'd said: no "dump him" comment or not saying dump him

Just stop...

Nope. Not really...

86, I think you need to lighten up. I feel every time I see you comment it is rude or condescending. With that said, the original comment did take me a minute to decipher.

#4/#73... Both your comments are just terribly worded... Take an English class and than come back when you've learnt a thing or two

I GET IT!!! She's saying that she's not telling her to dump him, but what he did is very strange. I feel like I just bested a sphinx.

I'm not a grammar nazi, but would you please use some punctuation so I can At least understand what the junk you just said?!?

Don't worry, OP. I came buckets in your place just reading that line.

Too funny...but I hope OP got her groove back on.

At least somebody came!

Normally I'd be offended that a Lord of the Rings reference would turn you off, but no matter how awesome he is, Gollum and sex are thoughts that should never be mixed. Ever.

Tree Beard and all his treants are much offended. No, to soon? You may unleash the wrath of Mordor on me. Happened again, oh well. Thumb me down as you choose. I got help from the elves.

I think he took role play to a entirely new level. And a new level of fail.... Hope you bought batteries

That's when you whisper back: "He wants the precious. Always he is looking for it. And the precious is wanting to go back to him... But we mustn't let him have it"

I read that in Gollum's voice.

This comment alone almost made me cum. Much appreciation.

You sit around reading FMLs and masturbating. That's normal.

Never use the terms "clitoris" and "withered away" in the same sentence.

I'm sorry but I find that hilarious :)