By whoops - 3/10/2020 05:06

Trans women are women

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML
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By  Maggie Chapman  |  3

1. Your son can date a trans woman and be straight. Trans women are women.
2. You should never assume. What if you're wrong and you've now created an unnecessary problem between him and his girlfriend?

COMMENTS
By  Maggie Chapman  |  3

1. Your son can date a trans woman and be straight. Trans women are women.
2. You should never assume. What if you're wrong and you've now created an unnecessary problem between him and his girlfriend?

Reply
  tounces7  |  27

It shouldn't be a problem so long as he approaches her respectfully and honestly about it.
If she really is trans, then he needs to know and she should have already told him anyway. If she's not, then it shouldn't really be an issue.

Reply
  ChibiChibi_fml  |  27

Somehow I think "My parent thinks you did/do have a penis" might not go over great with the average non-trans female since it implies that they look like a guy. While there is nothing wrong with having a masculine look, some females would prefer not to hear that they don't read female or feminine to others. So while it shouldn't be an issue as obviously the son didn't think that, it may still be an issue as it can be a massive blow to a girl's confidence.

By  Alan  |  51

We'll have no TERFs in the comments or TERFy-style transphobic comments, they'll be removed. Cheers.

Reply
  Alan  |  51

Sorry about that. There's loads of them in the UK for some reason. Anyway, any hateful comments will be dealt with. That's why I put "Trans women are women" as the title (which can't be seen on the app I've been told).

Reply
  Charlie Given  |  23

Ya me neither but I had to know what the hell is a TERF, only to realize how stupid it was. So now nobody is aloud to have a opinions, without being labeled by another group of society for there opinions, despite their own opinions. So wouldn't that be the same as the pot calling the kettle black. Why can't people just mind their own business, I was raised to believe that whatever goes on behind closed doors is nobody else's fucking business. (metaphorically speaking)

Reply
  Alan  |  51

Let's put it this way: if someone makes hateful, ill-informed comments and/or punches down (ie. attacks a vulnerable minority group, even in the form of a bad joke), the comment will be removed and the author banned. Freedom of speech isn't freedom of consequences.

By  Iamthebanzai22  |  18

Hi. First of all, well done for being accepting and supportive of your son. Some of us are still a little old fashioned but we do try. I wish everyone had parents like that.
I am a straight guy but I am currently falling for and starting to date a trans girl. It was quite a shock initially because I have never been attracted to anything other than a naturally born woman. I really questioned my sexuality but then I realized: She is a woman and the fact that she has a penis is actually quite incidental (and possibly temporary anyway). Sometimes the person is more important than the plumbing.
You should Google the Kinsey scale, as an old fashioned guy this gave me quite a bit of perspective.
Again, well done on being cool with it. I hope she makes him really Happy.

By  RichardPencil  |  28

You're right, Alan, in the app, can't see titles, nor can we see the thumb counts on our own comments.

It's ok, this trip to UD was informative and not traumatic. It's not like when I had to find out what an Alabama Hot Pocket is. If you don't know what one is, leave it. You don't want to know.

By  DarkAngelsBlade  |  24

It’s okay, his parent may not care about his sexuality but they’re an assumption making judgmental asshat. They also don’t know how trans or sexualities works. He really didn’t deserve that and neither did his girlfriend, which by the way, does not change his sexuality if he’s into her.

By  Iamthebanzai22  |  18

Also, and I am no expert on this, if he asks you how he should breach the subject with her, I think "gender non-binary" is probably a good term to use though I am really still just a novice in this.

By  CRC_101  |  31

What the hell? If he doesn't know, obviously they're both using female pronouns. Why the hell would you be such an ass as to tell him what his sexual preference is? They both identify her as female. You shouldn't bring up changing whatever identity he previously identified with you as before, assuming he was bringing home cis girls before. Even if she WERE trans and he DID know - which those are huge assumptions to jump to - you should wait for him to bring up if anything is unusual about their situation or sexuality, especially considering this is early in you meeting her.

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  Yummi_913  |  11

Are you kidding me? You're completely ignoring the dangers of trans women NOT disclosing their transition to men they date. It's NOT SAFE. If he doesn't know, but refers to her as female, it doesn't mean everything is going to go just hunky dory. These situations often end in violence and even death. It was better he find out early on and it definitely didn't hurt to have a parent present who happens to support the trans community. FOR THE TRANS WOMANS SAKE it was better he find out this way than with a dick in his face or a conversation that feels like a betrayal deeper into the relationship.