Rock and a hard place - FML

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 165

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 108

You deserved it 1 973

Thanks for your help

By Anonymous - 26/11/2022 12:00 - Germany - Emden

Today, I asked a gynecologist if there’s any help for my boobs feeling like giant bruises one week out of three. Her reply was, “If you’re not willing to take pain killers for it, it can’t be that bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 201

By Terri-Lynn - 30/05/2012 20:25 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 772

You deserved it 4 419

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 870

You deserved it 6 482

Mother of the year

By lmastr64 - 08/10/2010 10:31 - France

Today, I'm sitting in agonizing pain following a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress the incredible back pain, but looks like I can't take any, because my mom has hidden them from me because she thinks I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor was here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 023

You deserved it 2 767

THIS DOESN'T FEEL NICE

By Krey85 - 11/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I had lower lumbar back surgery. I'm in horrible pain, my kids are wedged up my butt even though my husband is home, and I've heard nothing from friends or family, not even a check-in to see how it went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 02:35 - United States - Mascotte

Today, I found out you can get hemorrhoids during labor even if you have a c-section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 612

You deserved it 1 801

Medicare for all, please

By Anonymous - 14/08/2020 02:01

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my 6 ovarian cyst rupture. The pain meds have already worn off and my vag hurts. I also had my gallbladder removed last June, and my right ovary removed last January. The staff here remember me. Most expensive friends I've ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 124

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 2 352

By Twysted91 - 28/12/2014 03:50 - United States - Milford

Today, I was rushed to the emergency room in crippling pain, thanks to a very dangerous cluster of cysts on my ovaries that could rupture at any time. My boyfriend took this news as my way of denying him sex and broke up with me for "going to obscene lengths" to emasculate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 957

You deserved it 3 195

Next

Top comments

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 3 October 2020 7:31

So when is the surgery? Get well soon.

bobsanction 18

Saturday 3 October 2020 22:16

Get surgery, get drugs, feel good.

Comments

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 3 October 2020 7:31

So when is the surgery? Get well soon.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 3 October 2020 7:47

You might want to listen to some Twisted Cyster.

bobsanction 18

Saturday 3 October 2020 22:16

Get surgery, get drugs, feel good.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Relatable Birthday Abuse Social Media Money Scams Parents Education Kids School Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Gross Work

The Top

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 1 953

Today, I just learned that the silly song my parents taught me as a small child, and would sometimes make me sing for the family, is actually a very thinly veiled series of penis jokes. Why just now? Because I hadn't thought about it for years, until my grandma brought it up at a reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 74

The Top

Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 77

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 2 540

Today, I had to yell at both my adult children; my daughter for having an OnlyFans page and my son for finding the page, blackmailing her for money for two months, then telling me about it when she refused to keep paying. I'm not a proud parent right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 365

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 640

You deserved it 8 896

Today, due to increasing frequency and severity of hypoglycemic symptoms, I went to the doctor. Apparently, the pill may have given me a rare form of temporary diabetes. She wants me to be a case study for the next 12 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 90

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me with an Eagles cheerleader. I found out when his dad proudly posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 325

You deserved it 327