Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML
Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
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Top comments
ajeppsen 25
Talk about a hard hitting news story.
baseballbv 17
I guess you didn't need to read the headlines. You got to experience them.
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Comments (75)
AFaye3964 17
Was it good news or Bad news?
alex_622 22
"In today's news: girl gets black eye from newspaper. Tune in for the full story at 6pm".
SexyMexi21 23
So .. what was the news about?
Adam5858 17
If only that was caught on video!!! but oh.....yeah.... eh are you ok?
emmachristine 14
Does this remind anyone else of the newest Doctor Who when Clara got hit by a newspaper??
MissHeartSihk 26
Be more attentive of your surroundings from now on.
whatz_going_on 24
Yes op you need to keep a better lookout for newspapers flying at your face! First you get hit while walking down the street, next thing you know you'll be sitting on the toilet reading the newspaper when one comes flying through the window! I'll never forget the day when I was in bed with a girl in my room and a newspaper came shooting right at me. Lets just say I ended up with blue balls in more than one sense.
MissHeartSihk 26
touché. (: Your response was worth all of the down votes.
NLM22 14
thats one way of getting the news.... sorry OP
Enslaved 38
After years of playing the video game "PaperBoy" it wouldn't surprise me if he hit you intentionally. Why stick to the boring "Welcome" mats?
feven 32
They need to stop hiring baseball players.
ChildrenOfFilth 12
HEADSHOT!