Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML
Today, I lifted up my blinds, only for them to detach from the wall, hit me on the head, knock a pile of paper over, spill a can of Pepsi, leave plaster all over the floor and a gaping hole in the wall above my window. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML
Today, while leaving late for work, I walked out to my car only to find the back window broken. Worst part was, I still had to go to work because no one who could cover me showed up. FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
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Top comments
ajeppsen 25
Talk about a hard hitting news story.
baseballbv 17
I guess you didn't need to read the headlines. You got to experience them.
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Comments (75)
PoisonOrchid 21
You gotta come up with a better story than that when you tell your coworkers and friends... You could always borrow Det. Greenley's theory about the Russians in the alley... "Say these two guys right here, they don't even know the ******' huge guy. They're just staggering home from a bar still all ****** up from St. Patty's last night. They decide to take a shortcut down through the alley. Wrong ******' alley, huh?"
mct_1087 27
Tell that guy that he's been playing too much PaperBoy.
randomguy76 14
They still have paper boys?? Lol where have i been
cadillacgal79 32
I've heard of hard hitting news but this is ridiculous! (Sorry, I'll go back in my corner now )
c_scott25 6
Ouch! Sorry OP. Look ahead to better things to come
hondajason72280 10
Bad puppy lol
ohSNAPyall 27
Hopefully not. Would hate to get hit with puppy's paper potty!
worldclassrager 41
Gives a new meaning to (bad) news travels fast
kipperin 18
You can always contact the newspaper office and get that (presumably) "kid" fired ;)
FMLwithethan 1
Lol buses are.....EVIL
kendallfireHD 16
Damn, he needs to be more carful.