It's all about the technique.

Last time I checked, there wasn't a right way to drown.

Bonus points: Yell loud enough for all swimmers to hear, "AHHH IT HAS MY LEG!"

Did you master "the float". After you drown you have to let your limp body float to the surface of the water. Could you give your boss that little bit of extra effort he is looking for?

That remindse of Men of Honor

Just remember to inhale and exhale deeply...oh shit! That's right...just make sure you aren't 'in too deep' with a company that's gonna yell at you for doing it right lol

You forgot to scream! Dur!!!

Don't forget the dramatic screams, and the ninja chops into the water!

I'm willing to bet he screamed and splashed and caused a huge fit. That's not actually how most people drown. There's little splashing and only weak cries for help. By being loud and splashing he is creating a falsity for the new lifeguards to base what they should be looking for.

I just finished life guard training and that's completely right

I'm probably not the only person who has thought this, but I used (like elementary school age) to be petrified of sharks in pools.

I didn't even realize there was a wrong way to drown.

Kills me that it "threatened their reputation", are thy known for how well their lifeguards drown?

C) get bitten by a shark and drown

He forgot die. If you're going to drown right you have to die. Remember that!

If OP pretended to drown while they were on land it would have looked as if they were having a seizure.

Ok I didn't know there was a wrong way either... I think maybe the OP's boss may have been having a bad day?

89- you obviously didnt understand why i said that....

This is stupid because I got certified as a lifegaurd last week. When we did our rescues the boss shouldn't be all pissy about the person drowning. This is rather fake or the boss is a complete idiot.

Maybe he started drowning while on land...?

I made that mistake when I first started drowning. But now that I am a professional, I have it down.

I don't know if you implied it when you made your comment, but did anyone else think of Patrick Star when they read it?

60- I did indeed! ;D

60, agreed! an sponge bob!

It is. It should be on a website called FML. Oh wait...

Respect my authority... Stop commenting.

I'll kick you in the nuts!

Bagel... Shut the fuck up! Let us bury him!

I see you posted 7 fmls,your life must really suck.

By floating and swimming peacefully, maybe in a nice safe tube with a life jacket just in case. That's how you drown wrongly.

20- Wrongly? That "-ly" was redundant, and made you sound, well... Stupid.

Oh i'm sorry i forgot people are pricks about spelling. Calm your boner.

Actually, floating peacefully IS closer to how people drown in real life. A lot of the time, they don't move at all and their mouths are below the surface, suffocating quietly. That's why quite a few parents who lose kids to drowning claim they didn't notice--no splashing or choking out for help. That may have been what OP was doing--the quiet, realistic kind. The boss (who probably isn't a lifeguard), watching the exercise, may have idiotically concluded that the OP "drowned wrong" because it wasn't drowning like you see in movies and TV. In that case, it's going to be the boss who ruins the organization's reputation, as asshole bosses often do.

Listen to 47. The woman knows her stuff. The art of drowning is not child's play.

They forgot to die! If you don't die then you didn't drown, duh. :)

Yeah because you know CPR isn't used to make sure people who drown stay alive.

72- Chill the fuck out! You're getting agitated way too easily. Holy crap, and I thought I was short tempered... Calm down. It's FML, don't take things too seriously. It took me a while, but I got there.

I wasn't being serious lol. Everything i write on this is either a joke or just me saying it and this whole thread has been a joke to me lol. Trust me i'm the last person to take any of this serious.

Ah, I see. Well, I was referring to a combination of your previous comment and this one. But, as the song goes... "If you're cool, then I'm cool, then we're cool..."

39- But what if it's an uncontrollable boner?

You should probally stop listening to the intro music to your room-mate's favorite video game.

Way to reference another fml... Nicely done

97- Thank you sir, appreciate that you noticed.

#70- actually to drown means to get water in your lungs, you don't need to die to drown.

Edit: to my post... I did not view your profile and so unbeknown to me you are in fact a madam. My apologies *bows low*

apology accepted... I hope that you enjoyed the reading of my profile (curtsied)

He kept floating. Try tying a bag full of bricks to your ankle. That'll do it.

Or use the bag of bricks to knock yourself out so you don't have to panick as much. :)

Oo fma pic

Oh my gosh died laughing!!! XD

I just wanted to say that your dog is incredibly cute. Labs are definitely one of the best breeds ever! I wish my 4 year old chocolate lab hadn't gotten cancer...

Why did you have to mention your dog with cancer?

Dude that sucks that your dog got cancer I'm sorry bro, it's hard to let go of your pets they are a piece of your life

Sympathy; You're whoring for it.

The nerve of some people. Not wanting to drown, pfft.

Haven't you read drowning for dummies?! There are loads of ways in there!!