By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 359
You deserved it 2 174

Same thing different taste

Top comments

A) inhale huge amounts of water B) sink

TarieBoo 2

did you start drowning before you got in the water? i didnt know there was a 'wrong' way


A) inhale huge amounts of water B) sink

Last time I checked, there wasn't a right way to drown.

Bonus points: Yell loud enough for all swimmers to hear, "AHHH IT HAS MY LEG!"

Tali147 16

Did you master "the float". After you drown you have to let your limp body float to the surface of the water. Could you give your boss that little bit of extra effort he is looking for?

tjv3 10

That remindse of Men of Honor

Just remember to inhale and exhale deeply...oh shit! That's right...just make sure you aren't 'in too deep' with a company that's gonna yell at you for doing it right lol

Megan98 18

Don't forget the dramatic screams, and the ninja chops into the water!

I'm willing to bet he screamed and splashed and caused a huge fit. That's not actually how most people drown. There's little splashing and only weak cries for help. By being loud and splashing he is creating a falsity for the new lifeguards to base what they should be looking for.

kellymilliken 1

I just finished life guard training and that's completely right

floopyflooper 2

I'm probably not the only person who has thought this, but I used (like elementary school age) to be petrified of sharks in pools.

I didn't even realize there was a wrong way to drown.

syley 5

Kills me that it "threatened their reputation", are thy known for how well their lifeguards drown?

TarieBoo 2

did you start drowning before you got in the water? i didnt know there was a 'wrong' way

He forgot die. If you're going to drown right you have to die. Remember that!

CaramelMacchiato 13

If OP pretended to drown while they were on land it would have looked as if they were having a seizure.

Ok I didn't know there was a wrong way either... I think maybe the OP's boss may have been having a bad day?

TarieBoo 2

89- you obviously didnt understand why i said that....

KairoFallin 0

This is stupid because I got certified as a lifegaurd last week. When we did our rescues the boss shouldn't be all pissy about the person drowning. This is rather fake or the boss is a complete idiot.

Maybe he started drowning while on land...?

Did you forget to flail your arms around and yell, "CRAMP!" I make that mistake a lot.

Tali147 16

I made that mistake when I first started drowning. But now that I am a professional, I have it down.

I don't know if you implied it when you made your comment, but did anyone else think of Patrick Star when they read it?

infaith 5

It is. It should be on a website called FML. Oh wait...

hockeyoceancity 13

Respect my authority... Stop commenting.

Bagel... Shut the **** up! Let us bury him!

I see you posted 7 fmls,your life must really suck.

Comet_Candy 23

How does one drown the wrong way...?

hockeyoceancity 13

By floating and swimming peacefully, maybe in a nice safe tube with a life jacket just in case. That's how you drown wrongly.

20- Wrongly? That "-ly" was redundant, and made you sound, well... Stupid.

hockeyoceancity 13

Oh i'm sorry i forgot people are pricks about spelling. Calm your boner.

egc573 40

Actually, floating peacefully IS closer to how people drown in real life. A lot of the time, they don't move at all and their mouths are below the surface, suffocating quietly. That's why quite a few parents who lose kids to drowning claim they didn't notice--no splashing or choking out for help. That may have been what OP was doing--the quiet, realistic kind. The boss (who probably isn't a lifeguard), watching the exercise, may have idiotically concluded that the OP "drowned wrong" because it wasn't drowning like you see in movies and TV. In that case, it's going to be the boss who ruins the organization's reputation, as asshole bosses often do.

Listen to 47. The woman knows her stuff. The art of drowning is not child's play.

They forgot to die! If you don't die then you didn't drown, duh. :)

hockeyoceancity 13

Yeah because you know CPR isn't used to make sure people who drown stay alive.

72- Chill the **** out! You're getting agitated way too easily. Holy crap, and I thought I was short tempered... Calm down. It's FML, don't take things too seriously. It took me a while, but I got there.

hockeyoceancity 13

I wasn't being serious lol. Everything i write on this is either a joke or just me saying it and this whole thread has been a joke to me lol. Trust me i'm the last person to take any of this serious.

Ah, I see. Well, I was referring to a combination of your previous comment and this one. But, as the song goes... "If you're cool, then I'm cool, then we're cool..."

baddawg365 0

39- But what if it's an uncontrollable boner?

hockeyoceancity 13

You should probally stop listening to the intro music to your room-mate's favorite video game.

Way to reference another fml... Nicely done

baddawg365 0

97- Thank you sir, appreciate that you noticed.

#70- actually to drown means to get water in your lungs, you don't need to die to drown.

baddawg365 0

Edit: to my post... I did not view your profile and so unbeknown to me you are in fact a madam. My apologies *bows low*

apology accepted... I hope that you enjoyed the reading of my profile (curtsied)

Aw man. Drowning: You're doing it wrong.

He kept floating. Try tying a bag full of bricks to your ankle. That'll do it.

hockeyoceancity 13

Or use the bag of bricks to knock yourself out so you don't have to panick as much. :)

Well you were doing it the wrong way. Geez doesnt everybody know how to drown the right way.

alstbv12 13

I just wanted to say that your dog is incredibly cute. Labs are definitely one of the best breeds ever! I wish my 4 year old chocolate lab hadn't gotten cancer...

xxmel 6

Why did you have to mention your dog with cancer?

Dude that sucks that your dog got cancer I'm sorry bro, it's hard to let go of your pets they are a piece of your life

Pretty sure if you're still breathing by the end you did it wrong. How inconsiderate of you

The nerve of some people. Not wanting to drown, pfft.

I think there's only one way to drown

Haven't you read drowning for dummies?! There are loads of ways in there!!

If you drowned 'properly' wouldn't that make you dead?