Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend's needy five year-old tried to swing on my arm while I was cutting celery. I needed seven stitches. Later, my girlfriend complained that I should have cleaned up the blood because she's squeamish, and that I upset her son by yelling and cussing in pain. FML
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Top comments
crazylady654 0
lol, that sux. dump her :)
infuzi0n 0
hey! today is MY birthday! why does your girlfriend always have to make it about her?!?
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Comments (159)
Lisa89 3
If she pisses you off that much just dump her
catatonicsleep 17
my bf forgot my birthday but i didn't bitch at him about it, birthdays aren't that important
strawberryswirl 0
Ditch the bitch.
koifish81 0
should have let her know jackass ydi
slyace 9
Ahhhhh thats love for you lol FYL
ColdGold 6
Ouch. Sorry about the head wound. Maybe you do need to examine your relationship with the "girlfriend." She doesn't sound like she is much fun. I suppose you have to keep her entertained. No wonder you hurt your head.
42billybob 5
get her to say that to your face. look her dead in the eyes with your bandaged head and ask her to explain why she's angry. she SHOULD realize as she's saying it that getting upset about that it ******* retarded. if not... then i concur with the majority. it's reasons like this men think women are stupid, and it gets even worse when you explain such a situation to a woman and she sides with the bitch. Pro-tip: if you want women to be smarter in men's eyes, don't side with someone simply because they're a woman.
Sappheyes 0
Exactly, all you women who are agreeing with this woman! They're all over this message board! Just look at... Well, gee, I guess there aren't any. The only responses in agreement with her have been sarcastic. So what were you talking about again? I've known some stupid men. Does that mean I'm justified in thinking that all men are stupid, and treating them as such? No, that would be sexist and judgmental of me. Likewise, any man who acts as if all women are stupid, simply because he's met a few who are, is also sexist and judgmental. If you're having an issue with all the women in your social circle being like this, perhaps you need to step back and examine your place amongst these people. There are plenty of intelligent women in the world, but perhaps they choose not to spend their time with sexist, judgmental men. It might just take a stupid woman to put up with that. At any rate, believing that all the women you see are stupid, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Similar to men who believe that all women are slutty bitches, and treat them as such, and end up only attracting women who actually are slutty bitches, because they are the only ones who will put up with the man's attitude.
etherealjoy 0
one of my good friends died at 18 cos she slipped getting out of the shower and snapped her neck. PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CallMeHush 1
Sounds like you have a selfish, high maintenance bwitch for a girlfriend. Don' walk, run away. Run away as fast as you can screaming for her to stay out of your life and when you get home burn everything associated with her. It will be better for you in the long run.
magenkyo 0
she's q psych fyl move on