Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend's needy five year-old tried to swing on my arm while I was cutting celery. I needed seven stitches. Later, my girlfriend complained that I should have cleaned up the blood because she's squeamish, and that I upset her son by yelling and cussing in pain. FML
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Top comments
crazylady654 0
lol, that sux. dump her :)
infuzi0n 0
hey! today is MY birthday! why does your girlfriend always have to make it about her?!?
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Comments (159)
Nukem_fml 0
haha. gutted
v1kt4r 13
I really think Malaysians are all a whiny little race, and i know they're like 4 different races here but when it comes to bitching about shit you are united, 1MALAYSA
Opiton1 0
Seriously, surely some of you people know just how shallow your relationships are before shit like this happens?
InsanePPG 25
Don't call him Shirley. XP
nikkers 0
I would have thrown a BF too if youd dumped off my birthday, my one special day of the year when it is actually all about me, for a little cut on your head. No doubt as youre male youve had a whole bunch of accidents. I say apologise to her and make it up to her, poor long suffering girlfriend.
Sophie_a7x 0
I seriously hope you're being facetious
tab_ga1990 0
So that means that you rather your boyfriend have a possible brain injury then to find out he is ok just so he can take you out which let me add that he can do right after the hospital visit. Thats real selfish of you to say that no wonder you agree with her. So you really think he ment to put a huge gash in his head and have medical bills (not knowing if he has good insurance or if any at all) just to ruin her birthday. you're whole comment is just completely dumb
nikkers 0
I was actually being sarcastic (seems to have escaped you.FYL)
tab_ga1990 0
sorry, you cant really tell if someone is being sarcastic or not over the internet
amagaeru 0
Please tell me you're joking. Even small scalp wounds bleed like hell, and if the OP needed eight stitches and a head trauma test it probably wasn't just "a little cut." For all we know the OP could be taking anticoagulants, which would a) make the bleeding even worse and b) put him at a greater risk for a life-threatening hematoma. Furthermore, a birthday is not your "one special day of the year when it is actually all about me." Sorry to rain on your parade, but the world doesn't stop just because it's your birthday. It's a day to celebrate your life, and while expecting better-than-average treatment is a perfectly acceptable practice, only people who are selfish and immature brats (which, from the tone of your post, is exactly what you are) demand to be treated as a princess and then throw tantrums when that unrealistic fantasy doesn't materialize. Grow the **** up and realize that people have better things to do with their time than worship the ground you walk on. For example, getting needed medical treatment for an injury. At the OP: that sucks. Like the others have said, dump her ass. If she's not capable of (temporarily) putting aside her own desires - even on her birthday - to express concern for your well-being, then she's not worth your time.
nikkers 0
Either you type seriously slow or you don't read...
amagaeru 0
It would be the latter. Actually, that's not entirely true. I was multitasking and took longer to finish my reply. Some of us have better things to do than troll FML and monitor our posts. Also, sarcasm doesn't work well on the internet, especially when it's done poorly.
nikkers 0
Move on people... a serious guy wrote down there tho... feel free to chime in and tell him his opinion is wrong ..
repyourcliche 0
you = v.v. pugnacious. also, she/he clearly wasn't being serious. the ending gives it away, if nothing else.
neverStopLaughin 0
So someone in your family could be dying or seriously hurt and it still has to be all about you? You sound like a whiny, self-centred, ungrateful bitch. Stop thinking the world revolves around your bitchy ass.
RealityChecker 0
You lack no common Internet sense, my words have no intended offense But you don't understand that face-to-face only can you distinguish the difference between sarcasm, truth and anguish Speak only clear jokes or speak true, on the Internet, otherwise it's through Or if you were just intending to troll then good job, aren't you on a ******* roll!
patticake1601 0
really...a birthday is more important than your boyfriend in hospital? I think you need to dump her fast. If you haven't seen the signs before, dude this is a flashing billboard, IT IS ALL ABOUT HER!
Maxine17 8
MY birthday is February 14th, just so everyone knows.I shall be 18 and legal.I expect birthday wishes! But, sucks for you OP, she IS selfish!
nikkers 0
Mines January 30th I want presents, you can keep ya wishes lol
Bright_Lights 14
Yours is a day after mine! ;D
Bright_Lights 14
Yours is a day after mine! ;D
sarcdude 3
legal eh? I'd give you one hell of a birthday wish ;D j/k
sarcrl 0
YDI for having a stupid girlfriend
_Noon_ 0
Wow, suddenly a pot and kettle came up in my mind. I wonder why. But seriously, how bitchy!
perdix 31
OP, you make me sick! You take a shower every day your whole life and manage to get through it in one piece, but you choose this day, your girlfriend's birthday, to **** up and cause a self-inflicted injury. Can you not let someone else have their moment in the spotlight, you drama queen? My mother-in-law does similar shit. Anytime someone gets a bit of attention, she OD's on her prescription meds and causes a panic around her. The two of you would get along great! Be thankful that that sweet girl will let you suck her toes. Get over yourself, Massive Head Wound Harry, and try to make your girlfriend's birthday a little bit about her, OK?
misspeg 0
YDI for dating a 12 year old...