Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend's needy five year-old tried to swing on my arm while I was cutting celery. I needed seven stitches. Later, my girlfriend complained that I should have cleaned up the blood because she's squeamish, and that I upset her son by yelling and cussing in pain. FML
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Top comments
crazylady654 0
lol, that sux. dump her :)
infuzi0n 0
hey! today is MY birthday! why does your girlfriend always have to make it about her?!?
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Comments (159)
kickboxer1 0
I'd dump her in a heart beat. I'd spend my entire birthday in the hospital with my bf. ( if I had one)
Dravite 9
My grandma died a few days before my birthday, the funeral was at my birthday. Needless to say, it was a sombre time at best.
jessicadavis374 6
Find a new chick... That's ridiculous! She sounds "selfish" to me.
Kulwein 6
Lol wow. That's lame.
xxEternalRain 13
Coming from the selfish bitch herself. Dump her dude
sugarbear0727 19
Wow, what a self-centered brat.
sugarbear0727 19
I can see why she got mad. She thought he was intentionally ignoring her or forgot it was her birthday. Some girls are wired that way. I'm not. I hate it when people buy me stuff. My boyfriend has not bought me anything for christmas, new years, or valentines day. He says he will, and even asks me what I want, but he never does. It doesnt bother me. I don't need gifts from him that show how much he loves me, or cares.
Cathrin 26
I can understand if you told him not to get you anything of he admitted he won't, but by saying he will and then not, he's pretty obviously a liar. How does that not bother you?
nazzarette11 0
Your faultyou decided to date a dumb shit.
CarlosDanger 12
How is this an FML now you know how crazy she is before your relationship gets to serious.
the_rad_brad47 18
That butch selfish