Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, my girlfriend's needy five year-old tried to swing on my arm while I was cutting celery. I needed seven stitches. Later, my girlfriend complained that I should have cleaned up the blood because she's squeamish, and that I upset her son by yelling and cussing in pain. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
crazylady654 0
lol, that sux. dump her :)
infuzi0n 0
hey! today is MY birthday! why does your girlfriend always have to make it about her?!?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
nyc718 0
YDI for dating a needy ****
kellzbellz 0
shes a bitch. get rid of her. Most chicks arent that selfish.
umidontknow 0
Dumb Bitch aperently the sfty and well being of her BF is'nt good enough for her
tia73 0
that sounds alot like something my sisters boyfriend would do. however, hes the kind of guy that throws his cell phron through your double pained window coz hes drunk at 2 in the morning.
MisterZzyzx 0
Quick and easy solution: "Okay, you want your birthday to be about you? I'm dumping your ass. Now go cry to mommy you selfish ****."
itsaduck 0
yep, dump her.
happyface29 0
girlfriends like this deserve to be beaten, and im a girl. dump her
COBRAMORPH 0
**** her in the ass, take some pictures, dump her, upload the pics.
epbaboink 0
Dump her. She's shown her true colors, and will never change. Hell, if Kristen hadn't already married Dale, I would have assumed this was from him. However, because they're already married, I can only tell you that staying with this chick will result in major arguments on your honeymoon, her constantly going home to mommy because you're being mean and expecting her to be an adult, and other mean things that make her sad.
DarkFoxDK 0
Sounds like it's time to dump her ass!