Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML
Today, I once again woke up to find a huge gash on the back of my foot with blood pouring out. Turns out, I scratched it with my other toenail in my sleep. This is the ninth time this has happened. FML
Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I was there with the lights out when something ran across my foot. I freaked out, tried to kick it off, and ended up smashing my foot into the side of the tub. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML
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Top comments
Tsunami87 17
Watch out! Freddy Krueger is about!
qazaq 1
Toe nail?
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Comments (207)
Lights_Out_fml 6
Better stock up on energy drinks
eveplox 3
the doggy lick - knife edition
elidine 0
Ghetto sex?
ChartreuseRose 7
1, 2, Freddy's coming for you~
AndysFancy 6
3, 4 better lock the door...
tehrealone 6
5,6 let's pick up chicks
flockz 20
7,8 take them on a nice date
flockz 20
11,12 found out they were Santa's elves...
lol_ironic_life 9
13, 14 - a pedo bear holiday fling!
flockz 20
15,16 great now i have to be quarantined.
deadxmau5 6
Anyone else entertained with how far this has for so far lol
WPQ14 15
17, 18, stick to masturbating
eminemop 0
3,4, better lock your door
rocky910 5
19-20 give it plenty
deadxmau5 6
way to ruin it 126 way to ruin it
lol_ironic_life 9
21, 22 and there it blew
rocky910 5
23-24 theres cum on my floor
sjhill 32
It sounds kind of like one of those slasher movies. Sorry didn't mean to scare you :P
BenignSociopath 10
If you don't live alone, and it's not too terribly awkward I'd say sleep in someone else's bed. If your bed stabbed you, you're safe. If it was a person/thing you have a decoy and can safely sleep before you have to investigate further.
waterchestnut 0
paranormal activity 4?......
imaginaryvoice 18
This is exactly why I sleep with shoes on...
DingoCJ 15
umm.. what??
LifeIsCruelFML 0
UM LOLWOT... gross
imaginaryvoice 18
Jooooke? Lol, who actually sleeps with shoes on?
jmuld 3
Sneakers O'Toole!
Jakespeed207 4
Sonic the hedgehog :D
perdix 31
It's a reasonable fear. Load up on coffee, Red Bull, crystal meth and 5-hour Energy to protect your feet until you can go out and buy a pair of Doc Martens slippers.
brianjman14 23
My bad, OP. Next time, I'll leave my knife at home when I watch you sleep.
rabbittboi 18
Next time, bring your saber
linkinpark98 24
Hey, now they have a new thing to put into Paranormal Activity 4. ( I hope they make another one. I really enjoy those movies! ) :D