Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
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Top comments
samimarie199 22
I guess you were robbed blind
CaliLoveFire 23
never fall asleep on public transport
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Comments (48)
Axel5238 29
YDI for falling asleep on the subway. People will grab what they can get and frames for glasses cost a fair amount sure he was able to sell them.
tranced_ 45
same thing happened to me too when my cellphone got stolen while I was listening to music on it and fell asleep..
The_Decider 8
more like ex-glasses
Alexzandriah 9
How did you fall asleep on public transportaion? I feel like I could never do that, it would be to weird that people would watch me sleep
RabbitOfAurora 28
You *******. I fall asleep on public transport all the time. Just make sure your stuff is secure and cling to it while sleeping. Also, I'm surprised, that's not very Canadian OP.
perdix 29
#43, I'm guessing you bolt your glasses to your face when you ride the bus?
RabbitOfAurora 28
Not at all. I'm usually a light sleeper though. But one time I was dead asleep for my hour trip with a big travel bag and I still managed to wake up two minutes before my station and there was also a 20 minute delay apparently.
onlychildFTW 33
Thats an odd thing to steal, I guess they had the same prescription as you.
edanielleh 21
the actual lenses are much cheaper than the frames in many cases. If op had nice frames they could be over 200 easy. you can always take frames to get new lenses
cakefete2 30
Oh yea, i woke up next to a sexy stranger who was trying to steal my heart. Top that!
perdix 29
Finder's keepers, loser's *lowers sunglasses* weepers.
strike2867 13
The culprit, the floor under the seat.
ingebean 2
Watch out we got a pro pitpocketer