Transportation: Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find... - FML

By Anonymous - 24/11/2013 23:19 - Canada - Surrey

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 7 802

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

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Same thing different taste

Jerk

By GogglesGoggles - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a guy punched me in the subway for staring at his girlfriend. I had dark glasses on, and was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 430

You deserved it 3 678

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 918

You deserved it 2 290

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 432

You deserved it 4 678

Creeped out

By emoney - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 598

You deserved it 3 766

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 173

You deserved it 2 889

Help yourself

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Westwood

Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 207

You deserved it 2 140

There was an attempt…

By JoshTheUnluckyFromKentucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Folsom

Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 639

You deserved it 2 920

BIKES?!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I'd forgotten my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I later got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 705

You deserved it 6 287

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 908

You deserved it 2 499

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 037

You deserved it 823

Next

Top comments

samimarie199 22

Monday 25 November 2013 8:00

I guess you were robbed blind

CaliLoveFire 23

Monday 25 November 2013 8:00

never fall asleep on public transport

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Monday 25 November 2013 15:18

I bet you didn't see that coming.... That has to be one great cat napper to take those off with out waking you up...

Rainhawk94 27

Monday 25 November 2013 15:18

I woke up and caught someone trying to steal my virginity

KasiaLilith 13

Monday 25 November 2013 20:14

I stop myself from sitting down in the subway when I'm tired, ever since I woke up to two kids throwing smarties to my open mouth. From the distance.

pooldude 24

Monday 25 November 2013 20:37

Glasses?? What are they going for now a days!?

cjhons 16

Monday 25 November 2013 21:17

Did anyone else instantly think of Brenda in "Adventures in Babysitting" (1987)?

Lexiebear27 10

Tuesday 26 November 2013 6:12

Me! Yay!

Kuro_Kamen 12

Tuesday 26 November 2013 0:31

Can't believe that happened in Canada.

sanecatlady 13

Thursday 28 November 2013 15:12

Sadly, there are people who are complete jerks anywhere you live. I know since I met most of them in junior high school.

VoodooPriestess 16

Tuesday 26 November 2013 3:53

As someone who wears glasses, that has to be the most asshole-ish thing to do. Beside how expensive they get, no one knows how bad someone's eyes are. Mine are bad to the point where I have to shower with them on. I hope you got through the day okay and had some kind of back up pair somewhere.

Beepbeep7 14

Tuesday 26 November 2013 6:21

I'm guessing you've never watched adventures in babysitting.

derbygirl3 4

Tuesday 26 November 2013 6:37

In Canada people are suppose to be nice .... my whole life is a lie!

BrittNic0le 9

Tuesday 26 November 2013 8:07

Apparently, they figured since you weren't using them...

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