Today, while preparing the house for company, I got a call that my sister had a heart attack and died. My wife's response? "Great! Now you're going to be no help to me at all!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML
Today, on my long-awaited vacation, I got a phone call from my sister. Her childhood friend died. She bawled on the phone, and my plans were ruined. My husband said it was selfish of her to do such a thing when she knew we were on vacation, so she ramped up the drama times ten. She and her friend used to bully me. FML
Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal pains. She was crying in the car and very faintly said, "If I die, our daughter goes to my sister and they get everything in my will." We later found out she was just having a bad gas problem. FML
Today, despite my insistence that I didn't need her, my mom showed up at my door to move in to "help out" after my wife's death. I refused to let her in, so now she's staying at a hotel, and the whole family is angry at me. FML
Today, I was supposed to see an apartment. Thirty minutes after I was to meet the owner, she still hadn't shown. I called her. When I got no response, I was annoyed and kept calling. Finally, she answered, said, "I'm in the hospital with my father. He just died. Please stop calling me," and hung up. FML
Today, my wife, who recently had cancer, made an offhand comment that my 30-year-old sister took offense to. Instead of saying something, she went and called our parents. My dad then called and yelled at me for 5 minutes about it. FML
Today, I got home from work and face-planted into my sofa because I hate my job, suffer from depression, recently lost my wife to cancer, and a host of other BS. As I face-planted it turned out that my sister invited herself over and had fell asleep, curled up under a blanket. Our heads collided at 30 mph. FML
Today, my wife tried to catch the bouquet at my sister's wedding. Afterward I informed her that only single women were supposed to do that, and she replied "I know". My wife told me that she was divorcing me at my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my sister asked me how my boyfriend was doing. He died two years ago. She was the first person I told. FML
Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know three hours ago, before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML
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Top comments
soiree_fml 0
FYL for having such an insensitive wife. Sorry about your sister :
mrlucky4444 0
you have great taste in women
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Comments (284)
arb1513 0
may your sister rest in peace. I'm sorry for your loss
kyliebeatriz08 0
wow **** that bitch!!!! leAve the house for a while, but FYL indeed.
MermaidSongXOXO 6
#135 ..Yeah, his sis is fine. She's in heaven o_o
DeservedIt 0
He said it himself that she died. It's in the FML. But maybe it happened long ago. The rules just want every anecdote to start with "Today". It could have happened 10 years ago and now he doesn't mind posting it on the Internet.
karinerz 0
Oh my god. What kind of wife do you have? Thats terrible! Sorry about your sister.
FMLihatemylife 0
how about the fact that if the OP was really sad, he wouldn't be on freaking FML
fantasyworld 39
All FMLs have to start with "today".
perdix 31
And then your wife's face brightened and she said, "Wait, there's going to be a funeral and I look fabulous in black!"
georgepeters 0
this is why you keep the pimp hand strong
FMLrockzdude 0
powned
FMLrockzdude 0
btw perdix I <3 your commentz keep on typin =P