Today, while out for our romantic Valentine's dinner, my boyfriend of 2 and a half years told me that he believes in females being subservient, that I'm not allowed to have opinions anymore, that he is "the alpha dog" and I'm merely the "beta dog", and that I have to "get used to it." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend told me that in order for me to be considered for marriage, I need to prove that I can be a subservient woman. This includes signing over the deed to my house, my car, and all my banking assets, so that he can be “the man of the house.” I make 6 figures; he rents with roommates. FML
Today, my boyfriend had a tantrum because I didn't like Black Sabbath as much as him. Apparently our entire relationship was based on him thinking I did. I've now been labeled "The Queen of Lies." FML
Today, I found out why my fiancé waited for me to meet his family. We had dinner at their place, the women were not permitted to talk while the men were in the room, also no eye contact with the men, and we had to eat separately. He says he wants me to learn to be a good and decent wife from them. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he never seems to have his own opinion, always agrees with me, and does whatever I want. That’s when he admitted he’s scared of me and is terrified of saying or doing anything I won’t like. I have no idea what I did to scare him this badly. FML
Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML
Today, my "boyfriend" told me that he loves money more than me and would date it if he could. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years, who has never been anything but loving and supportive, told me after I made a joke that there has been “a change” in how he deals with people, that he has been “purging,” and that I could be next because he “has needs too.” FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we needed to talk. He called me cruel, cold and heartless and that it’s making him reconsider what kind of future we may have together. All because I hate sappy movies and don’t cry on the scenes where the dogs die. FML
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Top comments
muahzzbaybee 0
break up with him
baronjman 2
he should "get used to" not having a GF anymore......you can do better
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Comments (405)
countrygirl0118 6
Dogs mark what's theirs by urinating on things, is he going to do that too? DUMP THE LOSER!
Satyromaniac 0
Your boyfriend has the right idea. Men are superior, women may say this isn't true but the statistics are out there. Women are good for nothing apart from sex, so it's alright to hit them if you get bored.
myfriend_youfail 3
And I'm pretty sure reasoning like yours is why your mother wishes she had aborted when she had the chance. If she'd known she would give birth to a three-headed, hermaphroditic, demented troll, she probably would have gotten herself sterilized early on.
myfriend_youfail 3
I'm also fairly disturbed by the idea that "women are good for nothing apart from sex". Not only does that allow for some fairly oedipal tendencies, but it also suggests that women should not be considered able to give birth (since technically, birth is not a part of sex nor is intercourse a prerequisite for pregnancy in this day and age). I'm betting, then, that Satyromaniac has sex with his mother on a regular basis, and also assists in her regular coat-hanger abortions. Yup yup. ;D
sweatteaforme001 0
What statistics are you referencing? Convenient Theories For You, Monthly? STONGLY consider therapy.
Chunchunchun 3
You should be grateful.
s_me_ashley 2
You should dump him, he's a jerk
lizzfawnduhh 0
definitely break up with him, youre better off without him.
alexFYL 11
You should laugh at him and tell him alpha wolves only exist because the submissive ones allow them. It's old science that shows alpha dogs command. then hit him with a paddle and tell him to lick your boots.
BritishHobo 0
Worst FML comments page EVER. I knew when I saw it that it'd be filled with the sort of fucktard that goes 'oh, an FML about sex, I bet i could make a joke about being in the kitchen here. Oh ****, I'm a comedic genius, brilliant. Man, I bet if I had a girlfriend, she'd probably give me a ******* for being so funny'. Seriously, you people suck. Anyone who ever makes a joke about getting in the kitchen or making a sandwich deserves to be thrown out of a window. And I'm a guy. It's not just that it's sexist, it's that it's sooo over used. You know what, FML sucks now, because half the comments are fucktards who think those jokes are still funny. Also OP: wonder why thr FML doesn't say 'ex-boyfriend' cos if you're still together, you deserve him.
CrazySmileyFace 0
what a douche! well dump him. I hate guys who think men are better. women have done so much, and he is obviously retarded. dump him good, girl!
annielmy 0
HAWWWWT!
skyeyez9 25
If you like places where women are not allowed to do anything, move to afghanistan. It is no coincidence that countries where women are treated like property are modern day shitholes.