Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in my grade...

By laurraaa - 11/7/2009 19:27 - United States

Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in my grade were commenting on my photo because they knew the location of it. They then started to have a conversation and they planned a whole social event. On my photo. I wasn't invited. FML

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Miscellaneous

Proactive

Oh, he's a "Nice Guy"

Recycling helps

By Noname - 24/1/2009 19:14 - United States

Today, I got a letter from the Navy saying that they accepted my application to join the Navy. I never applied. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why girls don't have armpit hair. FML

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By medosin - 21/5/2012 12:10 - Austria

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

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By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, while at the store, my fly became undone. It doesn't seem that bad unless an old lady comes to "zip it up for you." FML

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By drake86 - 9/1/2013 16:42 - United Kingdom - Helensburgh

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

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By guess I'm stuck - 16/4/2013 07:23 - United States - Alamo

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

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By notaprossie - 3/2/2010 08:42 - South Africa

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend emailed me this morning to let me know that he had forwarded the joke that I had sent to him to all of his workmates and friends. He was quickly given the heads-up by one of his friends that all of our intimate emails from the day were also included. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

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By embarrassed - 4/1/2016 17:58 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I was in church. During the prayer, I moved my foot and it pressed against the automatic button on my umbrella causing it to suddenly open. As if that wasn't bad enough, I screamed simultaneously at the shock. FML

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By ToTeachorNottoTeach - 2/9/2020 20:01 - United States - Los Angeles

The best of times, the worst of times

Today, I'm a teacher in the middle of a pandemic. Half my students haven't shown up to my class. The other half don't do any assignments. I keep my job based on how well my students do. FML

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By fuck you, bitchcake - 10/11/2013 18:26 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

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By Anonymous - 15/11/2011 10:50 - United States

Today, "Community" was pulled from its mid-season lineup, with plans to hopefully put it back on the schedule at some unknown time. It will probably be canceled. Meanwhile, "Whitney" is still on the air and doing fine. FML

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By me - 22/1/2013 18:49 - United States - Peabody

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

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By Chris Chandler - 4/11/2018 15:30

Today, my cat peed on the kitchen floor. As I went to get the mop, I slipped on the puddle not once, not twice, but three times. In quick succession. FML

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By Grinch - 24/12/2016 12:08

Today, it's Xmas Eve, and my partner's quick afternoon catch-up with his friends has turned into 5 messy drunks in our house at 1am. So it's no to the "us" time evening we had planned before spending tomorrow with our families who live over 3 hours away. Guess who had promised to drive and now can't? FML

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By Anonymous - 24/5/2011 04:38

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

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By Biological - 11/2/2010 12:22 - United States

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

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By doggylove - 13/11/2015 03:57 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I realized my boyfriend's dog is more excited to see me than he is. FML

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By the2girls - 9/8/2011 16:08 - Canada

Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML

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By Small_Fry_Hero - 21/10/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/6/2013 20:07 - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

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By Screw My Parents - 22/12/2015 04:45 - United States - Barrington

Today, my parents confirmed we were going to be taking a Disney World trip for Christmas vacation. I already knew that we were taking a trip, but I was now missing a week of school. Being in 3 honors and an A.P. class, I said that I didn't want to go. I got called an "ungrateful, little prick". FML

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By Gloria Lovestar - 13/9/2019 20:00

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML

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By rykelmb - 27/5/2016 23:40 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I dropped my father-in-law's friend off at the airport, and I got in trouble because he ended up missing his flight. He only missed it because he forgot to check in. FML

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By datingablonde - 11/1/2013 05:20 - Australia - Attadale

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

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By fmlsheffgirl - 25/7/2016 11:52 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after months of putting up with it, I finally asked my manager not to put me on shifts with this old guy who is racist, sexist and lazy. This was how I found out that he died over the weekend. FML

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By login_eddy - 17/9/2010 18:37 - France

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

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By fattie4life - 20/7/2009 22:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

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By BreechInEducation - 27/11/2016 06:55

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he was a breech baby, which according to him meant that he born out of his mum's butthole. FML

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By fatteningmeup - 26/5/2011 14:24 - United States

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

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By Redhead4life - 18/3/2012 00:48 - United States - Miami

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

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By Anonymous - 9/11/2012 20:53 - New Zealand - Tauranga

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

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By hazlanz216 - 6/10/2011 22:28 - Canada

Today, I was suspended from work. Some lady went to the manager and told them that I was stalking her, all because I would kindly greet her everyday at the grocery store. I'm the cashier. FML

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By Alone - 6/5/2013 14:24 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

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By blabla - 23/12/2008 08:57 - France

Today, I tested a new drug designed to fight headaches. It had quite an effect on me, more specifically side effects: nausea, dizzyness and diarrhea. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/5/2012 10:21 - Sweden - Norsborg

Today, it was the first time I was going to fly first class. I ended up in the bathroom almost the whole flight with diarrhea. FML

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By PeePee - 3/7/2009 19:19 - United States

Today, at work I had to use the bathroom. I asked my boss to watch my register and quickly walked into the bathroom. I squatted down and peed. A minute later I heard someone ask over our walkie talkie system who was using the bathroom. I had been pressing the intercom button while I peed. FML

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By Tise81 - 22/6/2019 14:00 - Netherlands - Drachten

Today, my 18-year-old son got his first tattoo. I would have loved it, if it wasn't a text on his hand with a glaring spelling mistake in it. FML

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By guy - 30/7/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

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Top comments

By jonnymohio | 2

#388240 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:03

Show up and if they ask, say you assumed you were included since all the notifications were on your page.

By Kichi_fml | 0

#388346 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:35

That's why you have a FACEBOOK WALL.
They should use it instead of having a conversation on her photo, I think that was quite rude and annoying because your receiving notifications that doesn't even concern her.

COMMENTS

By raincookie | 0

#388211 - Saturday 11 July 2009 22:55

dude he's an asshole =(

truslide | 0

#388224 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:00

wrong fml! FAIL

MadaFaka_fml | 0

#389852 - Sunday 12 July 2009 12:32

lol FAIL...
anyways, thught u were a guy first which is lame cause u could comment and invite urself there.
chicks' thought is akward so understandably u were too shy to say anything.

MsTs1 | 0

#391950 - Monday 13 July 2009 7:40

give them all some dick and rip their delicious hymen

beau11 | 0

#953704 - Tuesday 16 March 2010 14:20

that's is a really hard choice either ur happiness or someones life

shiftybugger | 0

#1900213 - Tuesday 28 December 2011 12:01

that's happening on my fbook but instead of arranging things there are three girls arguing over which one deserves me more. awkward, but I like it.

fence4good | 0

#4305840 - Sunday 15 April 2012 1:05

Can you say " im a fuckin tard"?

By dumberror | 0

#388213 - Saturday 11 July 2009 22:56

ahhh that sucks. you should comment on it too.

By SimpleSimon | 0

#388226 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:00

Wow, yeah, FYL man, that's terrible..

NOBODY GIVES A FUCK!!

By great_lawl | 0

#388239 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:03

so what?

americayay | 0

#388951 - Sunday 12 July 2009 3:32

agreed. this was lame.

By jonnymohio | 2

#388240 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:03

Show up and if they ask, say you assumed you were included since all the notifications were on your page.

By cuterthanuthink | 0

#388243 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:04

this is why i hate facebook. ._.

mijzelffan | 0

#388266 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:08

yup, facebook sucks. A lot.

emilysanftwsom | 0

#388934 - Sunday 12 July 2009 3:24

Facebook is awesome!

Crickets | 0

#389086 - Sunday 12 July 2009 4:33

better than myspace... lol

daniisme | 0

#967213 - Wednesday 24 March 2010 7:03

only gay Americans use myspace...

mecolaya | 0

#1032092 - Wednesday 16 June 2010 8:55

Myspace will always kick Facebook's ass. Myspace was created for people to express themselves... Facebook was created for people to become addicted to their little games and pay them money.

By fnool | 0

#388247 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:05

I've seen this before.

By pinky2 | 0

#388257 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:06

wow that was dumb....
just because someone talks about a party on one of your photos doesnt mean you're invited...

I_Piss_Glitter | 0

#388305 - Saturday 11 July 2009 23:18

Agreed.

mj2123 | 0

#388481 - Sunday 12 July 2009 0:35

Um, she knew she wasn't invited...

Talking about a social event in front of someone who isn't invited is rude, bitchy, and passive-aggressive.

pinky2 | 0

#391410 - Monday 13 July 2009 2:45

it was on the computer....which means the girl who wasnt invited needs to suck it up because it could have been a lot worse. The other girls could have actually talked about it IN FRONT of her IN PERSON. and its not "rude, bitchy, and passive-aggressive."....it was just convenient for those girls to have a conversation on the photo.