Miscellaneous: Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the...

By methane overload - 19/01/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 204

You deserved it 3 829

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 101

You deserved it 2 553

By Anonymous - 05/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 753

You deserved it 3 434

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 890

You deserved it 3 408

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 05/06/2011 20:45 - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 406

You deserved it 46 339

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 046

You deserved it 2 706

By Anonymous - 10/02/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 146

You deserved it 4 792

Perfume Allergy Man strikes again!

By Lor - 09/10/2019 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a woman got on the bus wearing extremely strong perfume and sat in the seat in front of me. The gentleman I was sitting next to began violently sneezing, so much so that he eventually sneeze-vomited all over my lap and backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 168

By eewww - 06/05/2011 15:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I took a 40 minute bus ride home from work. The first 20 minutes were spent listening to the drunk man behind me moan uncontrollably and belch. The last 20 minutes were spent trying to ignore the vomit he left on my back as he got up to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 775

You deserved it 3 703

By Anonymous - 08/05/2015 13:51 - United States - Pottstown

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 636

You deserved it 38 958

DawnShadow_fml 5

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:08

I love this wording.

waterkins 7

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:07

Should have puked on him

Comments

happle 21

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:16

The description alone made me smell it too... D:

jgriff79 23

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:16

Nuclear farts cause pink eye!

jxcala 10

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:27

Only if it's on someone's pillow. ;)

Axipiter 24

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:36

Or their eye. That one's a little harder to pull off, but much more rewarding.

TellMeWhatsDeath 14

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:18

You should become a writer, op.

Pharmgrl03 9

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:56

A very descriptive kids book author.

Reaper1984 13

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:25

"more room out than in" I always say

ChefRonny903 3

Saturday 19 January 2013 6:27

"Better out then in"

ajh1800 25

Saturday 19 January 2013 9:36

Better out THAN in... I wouldn't want it going back inside me...

S182 15

Saturday 19 January 2013 14:53

Lol @ the imagery of 43's comment.

jxcala 10

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:29

"Basking in the ambience."

perdix 29

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:36

Where exactly on the Shame Spiral is "eating at Taco Bell" compared to "owning up to one's own farts?" I hope you get off the bus before he does, because his stop is Rock Bottom.

katnisse12 6

Saturday 19 January 2013 5:38

I have this one friend who farts like that all the time- and the best part is, they don't have a sense of smell so they have no idea what the rest of us are suffering through.