Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML
Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML
Today, I was sexting my girlfriend when I accidentally sent one to my swim team’s group chat. This means that 19 men got a picture of me flexing with everything on display. Worst part? I got more compliments from them than I ever got from my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
MCart_fml 0
Remember only 2 shakes are appropriate in the bathroom, anything else and you deserve the embarrassment..
FMLhilar 0
hahahahahahaha thats just embarassing
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Comments (81)
PlasticHandz 0
R O F L
whodatninja 0
Y were u swinging ur dick around in a locker room? And did anyone say anything? I wouldve loved to see the look on ur face
BMC6 0
Well at least you had the biggest one in there, hopefully
Darthbane2007 19
" Today, me and my teammates had a hilarious time. One of our teammates apparently was swinging his dick around for a couple of minutes before we came in to use the showers. He had a boner the entire time. HLIF"
neezie 0
Been there done that in a playground.
av232 0
#73, but at least in a playground you have pants to hide it. and really dude, save the "feel good" things for home.
bingeball 0
wow man. that sucks.
Shyman4ever 0
Never jerkoff in a public place unless you're giving it to a cheerleader.
linamerri 0
ehem excuse me... just cause were cheerleaders doesn't mean were all *****. mmk sir have a nice life
Whatever80 0
Bro Stfu , Not All Cheerleaders ***** Okay ? Some Cheerleaders Are Actually The Total Opposite From A **** . Unless All The Cheerleaders At Your School Are , Then ALL Cheerleaders At YOUR School Are ***** .
kooldrew3 0
lol thats funnt
linamerri 0
use your eyes my friend...... by the look of him.. probably not