Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML
Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML
Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML
Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML
Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML
Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML
Today, I was sexting my girlfriend when I accidentally sent one to my swim team’s group chat. This means that 19 men got a picture of me flexing with everything on display. Worst part? I got more compliments from them than I ever got from my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML
Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML
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Top comments
MCart_fml 0
Remember only 2 shakes are appropriate in the bathroom, anything else and you deserve the embarrassment..
FMLhilar 0
hahahahahahaha thats just embarassing
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Comments (81)
nonameisaname 0
"swinging your penis around".. HAHAHAHAHA.. that's hilarious! You are bound to be the sharpest pencil in the team!
Fmyspam 0
At least the hardest.
Rainbowsareshiny 0
hahahahahahahahaha not gonna lie. LOSER. but its ok. we're all here for a reason arent we?
X_fml 0
i'm still LAUGHING MY ASS OF and i already read it like a milion times this is my favorite FML EVEEEEEEEEEEEER! AHAHAHAHA
mischiefkel 17
Off*
teddp1029 0
umm. youre the best.
Seegtease 0
I'm lolling so hard. Why the heck would you swing your penis around in the guys' locker room? Gay much?
d_carter24 0
O yaaa. That would def. be the highlight of my day if that were to happen at my school with one of the many hot football guys.
mcsteamy88 0
nice!
b2ac 0
that's what I was thinking. I would have gotten a boner if I walked in on that.
Brozain 0
That is the best story I've read so far. I don't think he deserves any embarrassment for that. Did you get any pics? xD
Chura 0
well... you should plan it next time. do it again. plan it just right... then cue a girl (or a paid ***** if you can't get one...) to walk in to screw you and see how the team is laughing then
CaptainCasual 0
You should have jumped into a warrior's fighting stance, flexed everything you had, and roared at them.
linamerri 0
you win
SEXMUFFIN21 0
You really should expect the rest of the team to go in there.