Intimacy: Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been...

By thjeltz - 27/10/2010 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 968

You deserved it 3 069

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Same thing different taste

By bruised - 19/05/2016 20:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 316

You deserved it 1 240

By JLoistheBomb - 11/02/2009 00:01 - United States

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 76 585

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

Puck my life

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 19:54 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 077

You deserved it 2 433

Teamwork

By eventer1919 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rice Lake

Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 400

You deserved it 1 889

Common passion

By ShowerheadGirl - 09/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 168

You deserved it 25 251

Senpai Noticed

By HelenErutherford - 09/07/2018 01:30

Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 251

You deserved it 341

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 568

You deserved it 12 424

Benched

By fmlprobot - 04/06/2009 23:48 - United States

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 412

You deserved it 4 676

By Noname - 17/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 901

You deserved it 7 675

Fortuitous 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:16

I thought you score in hockey when you get the puck into the goal, not the stick.

bridgette5866 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:33

so y'all need to hide yo dick, hide yo balls, hide your dick, hide yo balls, and hide yo asshole cuz they rapin errbody in here

Comments

ClaireBear9087 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:14

stay away from him..

depressedgamer 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:19

I like playing with myself in the shower and putting corn dogs in unnatural places.

DncrHap 9

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:09

yeah! five more months of rubbin' and lovin'! woo!

StJimmy117 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:15

come on, everybody knows that everything in the locker room is no-****

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:12

Wow.

MrSassypants 33

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:27

31 I saw a video like that on YouTube. The guy was all like "Come on let me use the computer." "No man." "Come on. I'll let you ram me in the ass. No ****." It was ho la we us.

KingDingALing 9

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:43

"Yo, how big is yo dick? No **** though. You know, cuz I don't play dat **** shit. You know what I'm sayin?"

warpig182 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:47

Shit I really dont get the whole no **** stuff. Anyways you should just arrange a friends with benifites operation with your new special buddy. No ****

Sirin_fml 46

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:47

Werd.

ishama13 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:51

Gee, Jessi, I think I dun shoulda read the commenting rules before posting 'ere!

Jessi2487 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 3:56

By golly, Ishama, I think I shoulda done too! Oh lawdy lawdy!

Jessi2487 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 5:11

WTF???? i didnt post that!! Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo!

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 28 October 2010 6:06

59- I know exactly what you're talking about. "You have thunder thighs. I'll suck you dry. No ****."

nycy 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:39

Haha plus one internets for the the drug dealer prank call reference king ding a ling

thatguy888 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:05

64: P.S. = post script

pwincessa23 1

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:41

Hope he doesn't "tie u to the radiator & Grape u in the mouth" hahahaha I love that video.

Lolerskatez 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 11:48

where's your locker room and why aren't i there? =[

babyyappld 7

Thursday 28 October 2010 12:02

I'm sure it was just a friendly request teammate to teammate. no ****.

IHATERI 0

Friday 5 November 2010 6:49

words of a true ******.

chuk_norris_fml 0

Tuesday 9 November 2010 7:01

Hey guys, "no ****" was the UrbanDictionary.com word of the day today!!!

poiuytjfffc 0

Monday 14 March 2011 7:41

holy sh*t, I always made fun of a kid at cap who would say "no ****" I would be like "hey man let's have anal: no ****" and I never realized that that joke would become so popular

brianjman14 22

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:14

You have a new boyfriend! =]

Sun_Kissed18 25

Thursday 28 October 2010 1:56

yay! congrats :P Really, he was probably just joking around... I hope so

tbe99 2

Thursday 28 October 2010 4:57

#79, the phrase "take a big load off" made me snicker. :) kudos

TheOptimist 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:01

OP, I wish you would tell me what part of Alberta your from. I play hockey, and live in Alberta too... But anyways, don't worry OP, if you say no, the worst he will do is take pictures to ********** too later.

jpest17 5

Friday 29 October 2010 5:21

I think I've seen u on YouTube?

Fortuitous 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:16

I thought you score in hockey when you get the puck into the goal, not the stick.

brianjman14 22

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:19

Hahahahaha. Nice one.

alex1432 9

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:07

no he can drop, he just can't pick it up

alex1432 9

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:11

it*

yourlifesfucked 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:20

Wow. Hope the other team knows that he's being literal when he says they're gonna get raped...

drummerforever 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:31

hahaha win

goldiefox 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:21

what do you expect?! your with guys.....naked.....taking showers.....totally normal-ish except for the wanting to connect part!

Epic_Phale615 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 21:27

dude, you dont god damn play with your junk around guys. Ya you shower together for hockey and its not creepy when you get used to it, but playing with yourself in that situation is the complete opposite of okay.