Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML
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Top comments
xcarxcrashx 9
If he said it it must be true.
Three4Ten 10
Well at least he's not a rapist!
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Comments (193)
badmike89 6
Well see there's no reason to worry he said he's not a rapist he seems trustworthy enough to me
perdix 31
1. You'll never have to walk home alone again. 2. There will be no "your place or mine" conflicts. You'll always have home-field advantage. 3. He's already madly in love with you. I'm not seeing a downside here.
martin_martian7 11
I'll hit his balls and run away!
damnu 3
I just wish you have to sleep on the streets one day. Just because you're such a spoiled brat
ultra_notorious 26
should let him take you behind a back alley for some fun!
damnu 3
Op, Buy the poor man a bottle of wine ! And you in your comments, stop being so judgmental please, you don't know what it's like to sleep on the streets. I do, and The loneliness, the way people look at you hurt. Exactly the same you're doing here. A little compassion won't kill you.
downtime 13
All those things must suck, but that doesn't obligate anyone to entertain his affection. I agree that people saying to attack him are just childish idiots, but she shouldn't have to feel guilted into dating someone just because they are having a hard time.
outoftown 27
Point taken. Seen that lonliness and hurt in their eyes, which is why I try to meet their eyes and smile a little, even if I don't have anything for them. But compassion must be tempered with caution for a woman/girl. My#39: Local cops can know the harmless ones, to reassure OP if so.
downtime 13
I agree, I try to be polite where possible. Some of them though cross a line, and my sympathy turns to disgust.
Irishgypsy 2
It's not rape if you yell surprise.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Bear Mace!
crazzyclover 6
So my true love is on here!!!! Lol just kidding.
Calyx_fml 22
Did you ask him on a date?
mosquito19 14
eww..... you touched his hands