Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend we should avoid the local walking trail after I got followed by a homeless man. He assured me we’d be fine and the guy wouldn’t approach me as long as I had a man with me. Wrong. We both got beat up and robbed by said homeless man. FML
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Top comments
xcarxcrashx 9
If he said it it must be true.
Three4Ten 10
Well at least he's not a rapist!
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Comments (193)
Clamcreepy 7
Well at least you got somebody that watches you. When you're walking home alone you now know that the hobo isn't going to rape you well unless you make him mad then you're ****** (get it? Lol)
eggmarie 25
You tried.
gingerlights 5
Good to know.
erika729 1
Awwww...
baseballguy06 0
hes a keeper
mialynn14 0
Hey
Snackycake 20
That's nice, I was worried there for a moment.
whostolemylama 12
Throw some money on the floor. Chances are that he would pick it up and you can run for your life.
Inediblepeaches 15
He's not a rapist. He just wants a forced ****-buddy! :D
210tex 1
At least if something happens to you when walking home he might help you.
Kasse 4
He'd probably be the person doing that 'something'.
kschlicke 11
Be worried; very worried.
charlotte69er 7
I hear wedding bells...a anyone else?