Intimacy: Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when...

By gag reflex - 16/08/2014 16:03 - Australia - Burwood

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 927

You deserved it 9 770

Intimacy

Dysfunctional

Leave us alone

Hey

What more do you want?

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 14:30

Today, I was told I don't qualify for disability benefits because I'm too young. I get this answer each time I apply, no matter how many lawyers and doctors I get. My mobility is so bad I've become wheelchair-bound and need assistance to bathe. How much worse do they want me to get? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 724

You deserved it 168

By jezusflowers - 07/05/2009 02:26 - United States

Today, I stopped at a red light. I noticed the car in front of me had the reverse lights on. I thought to myself "Meh, that person must know. They wouldn't do that." The light turned green. Turns out they didn't. Nor did they have insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 816

You deserved it 5 097

By Anonymous - 11/05/2016 15:53 - United States - Franklin

Today, I found out I owe the IRS over $2,000 because of a mistake they made. Their "apology" basically amounted to "Oops, our bad. Now pay up or you're gonna be Bubba's new bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 474

You deserved it 1 312

By insomniac - 19/06/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I was finally going to fall asleep at a decent hour. Having insomnia, I generally get about 2 hours of sleep. Right as I'm about to fall asleep, 5 firetrucks decide to drive right in front of my house with the sirens/lights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 245

You deserved it 4 724

By Posty - 18/05/2009 18:38 - United Kingdom

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 522

You deserved it 26 675

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 986

You deserved it 70 791

By ColdHeat - 16/04/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 226

You deserved it 4 622

By Anonymous - 28/11/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 835

You deserved it 38 214

By CollegeStudent - 26/11/2016 05:55

Today, after being excited and trying to make plans with all my friends, they all turned out to be busy. After watching Netflix most of the night, I check my Snapchat stories only to see them all hanging out without me at one of their houses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 273

You deserved it 851

By :$ - 06/08/2012 22:08 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 966

You deserved it 35 036

By Alisha Marie - 04/08/2010 04:20 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 807

You deserved it 9 007

By Geraldine - 30/11/2011 01:53 - Canada

Today, it's been three days since my husband got into free-jazz. He plays all the time in our small apartment. Loud. It's like listening to three guys build a shed for 10 giant angry wasps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 363

You deserved it 2 757

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 17:59 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 455

You deserved it 5 052

By Jealousbitch - 12/04/2012 09:27 - United States - Mulberry

Today, I had to admit that my jealousy issues were becoming a problem when I almost told my boyfriend not to apply at the local McDonald's, because of the high school girls that would see him there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 728

You deserved it 33 644

By imaginationdarling - 13/05/2014 23:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 418

You deserved it 7 232

By Nose Numb - 30/11/2014 20:24 - United States

Today, for the first time ever, my family bought a real Christmas tree instead of using our old fake one. Today, I also found out I'm allergic to Christmas trees. My family won't get rid of it because they paid so much for it and intend to "get their money's worth". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 262

You deserved it 3 463

By Anonymous - 08/07/2019 18:01 - United States

Today, I'm so single, I signed up for a free consultation on an LGBT arranged marriage site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 390

People disprove

By matt - 12/03/2021 08:01

Today, I, a forty year-old man, went to the store with my teenage daughter and infant son. I got some very dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 16/04/2013 23:13 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 458

You deserved it 4 008

By anon - 02/01/2016 15:57 - Australia - Glenfield

Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Years party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 727

You deserved it 1 904

By caryl101698 - 09/06/2016 01:40 - United States - Medford

Today, after spending $850 on having our siding, roof and windows powerwashed, a 5-minute storm blew the siding clear off the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 575

You deserved it 1 080

By sexybelly - 26/03/2015 08:35 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 815

You deserved it 4 601

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:21 - Australia

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend down the street and a really hot guy walked past with no shirt on. While distracted by his hardened stomach muscles, I promptly walked into a pole, then became single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 756

You deserved it 72 104

By Blue_Heart - 05/09/2015 18:47 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 1 949

By Angel - 22/06/2015 02:16 - United States - Utica

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 087

You deserved it 2 141

By Emily - 17/12/2011 17:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 4 581

By Anonymous - 11/10/2013 11:45 - United States - Monroe

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 409

You deserved it 2 700

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 575

You deserved it 4 969

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 592

You deserved it 509

By bummerdood - 26/08/2012 04:15 - United States - Wichita

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the drive-in theater, planning to have some fun during the movie. We were pretty excited that no cars were parked near us. As soon as the movie started, a bus full of little kids pulled up next to us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 705

You deserved it 7 973

By mylifesuckssomuch3214 - 07/12/2009 17:08 - United States

Today, after complaining to the administration about my roommate, I finally got switched. As I went into the room to meet my new roommate, I found out he was my old roommate's brother. They are exactly the same, and I'm not allowed to switch again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 860

You deserved it 3 360

By crb25453 - 15/10/2015 05:07 - United States - Stafford

Today, I drove to my college campus for my 8 a.m. class, parked, walked the mile and a half to my classroom, just to find out class had been cancelled. The prof didn't send an email because she couldn't remember her password. I paid $1200 to be taught by this woman, who has a doctorate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 709

You deserved it 2 224

By MoonStarShine3 - 09/06/2015 16:12 - United Kingdom - Chorley

Today, my boss yelled at me for being 3 hours late. I was late because I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. Apparently, breaking my arm is not a good enough excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 362

You deserved it 2 054

Motivation

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 11:00

Today, I had a job interview today after being unemployed for months. I left early but a stranger's giant SUV had me blocked in for over 2 hours. I called to explain the situation in the hope that I would be given another interview slot later in the week. I was told I clearly didn’t want the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 193

By Noname - 19/02/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 276

You deserved it 3 744

By Shooting myself - 10/02/2014 18:57 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 245

You deserved it 22 096

By Anonymous - 27/08/2018 18:30 - United States - Compton

Today, I was at a pool party with my friends. I really had to pass gas so I moved a bit from the group and let it rip. Instead of bubbles surfacing a brown cloud of poo rose instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 3 134

Capitalism 101

By Anonymous - 25/09/2019 02:02

Today, a massive septic tank that takes waste from 11 factories exploded. The wind is blowing directly towards us. Even with closed windows, no amount of perfume helps. There's no escape. People have puked. We've still got 4 hours of production and management doesn't care about the workers outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 103

Mirror mirror

By Anonymous - 05/05/2013 15:53 - United States

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 771

You deserved it 8 639

Metal Cat

By Anonymous - 08/02/2021 05:01

Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 84

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Top comments

DoomTetra 6

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:39

I can't stop laughing XD

leviheichou 15

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:39

That's extremely rude of them to say, FYL.

okay33 12

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:38

You poor soul OP!

silvercamaro 22

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:44

All you needed in this comment was the word "unfortunate" and we all could've started a Little Mermaid sing along, darn.

naajster 14

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Saturday 16 August 2014 23:31

things would've been pretty interesting if Prince Eric were a dentist...

Hopein2025 14

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Sunday 17 August 2014 4:39

Wonder what would happen if your boyfriend heard him say that

Insertnamesz 3

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Sunday 17 August 2014 6:37

I betcha he'd laugh!

emmingle 24

Saturday 16 August 2014 22:39

I feel sorry for him. After all, for some reason, he did make the conscious choice to become a dentist.

Fuhkyoo 17

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Saturday 16 August 2014 23:29

cause dentists are fucking loaded

BreathingClover 19

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Sunday 17 August 2014 4:49

and your point is?

leviheichou 15

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:39

That's extremely rude of them to say, FYL.

mageepaigeee44 15

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Sunday 17 August 2014 0:33

It is kind of rude. And if I were in that situation and I heard my dentist say that as I was leaving, I would have assumed he was referring to my looks or something and been more offended. I wouldn't have automatically figured out it was because of the gagging.

mageepaigeee44 15

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Sunday 17 August 2014 5:02

I don't know why that got buried. How DID op know it was because of the gagging?

PokeZilla 9

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Sunday 17 August 2014 5:32

Probably because the FML is about her gagging while at the dentist's. I'm going to assume she was gagging quite a lot during the duration of her visit for him to notice.

mageepaigeee44 15

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Sunday 17 August 2014 6:00

I didn't say she didn't gag.. I was saying how do you know the dentist is referring to the gagging when you hear that comment?

Animekid126 13

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Sunday 17 August 2014 6:10

Probably because that's what makes this fml

Sigilwen 24

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Sunday 17 August 2014 23:24

Maybe she's not self conscious of her looks and what others think of her looks don't matter to her. As far as judging anything else about her he can't, he is her dentist so probably don't know her well enough. So only thing left that would effect her boy friend is the gagging.

DoomTetra 6

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:39

I can't stop laughing XD

naajster 14

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Saturday 16 August 2014 23:29

A medical man with a sense of humor! Is his name docbastard by any chance??

Rallred32 20

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Saturday 16 August 2014 23:51

There might be a slight difference between a trauma surgeon and a fucking dentist.

enddmd 27

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Sunday 17 August 2014 1:04

Whoa, now they have "Fucking" Dentists?! Damn I am missing out...

CaptNomNom 17

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Sunday 17 August 2014 7:14

Training requires you to not gag on an x-ray tab.

JBChristian 46

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Sunday 17 August 2014 21:16

No wonder he commented on it if he was a "Fucking" Dentist. xD

23lf 16

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:40

What's with all these people in the medical field who are assholes?

YepThatsMeee 23

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Saturday 16 August 2014 23:18

Asshole? He just has a sense of humour. Lighten up.

CharismaGeek 19

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Sunday 17 August 2014 0:01

I don't think OP took the remark as a joke if she posted it on FML.

drayloon 50

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Sunday 17 August 2014 0:37

where's DocBastard when you need him...

CrysisKing 5

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Sunday 17 August 2014 0:38

Your an asshole

CasiLG 17

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Sunday 17 August 2014 3:24

According to his blog he is on vacation. I used to gag when the dentist hygienist did her x-rays. She put a sprinkle of salt on my tongue. As I grew older breathing deeply in and out of my nose helped.

YepThatsMeee 23

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Sunday 17 August 2014 8:14

#43 it was a perfectly harmless joke he shared with his secretary/assistant after he thought OP had left. I bet OP thought it was funny too.

JBChristian 46

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Sunday 17 August 2014 21:19

No, I can see that making her feel insecure.

Brownie02 10

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:40

What in the actual fuck?

lil_ham1644 29

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Sunday 17 August 2014 1:21

What the figurative fuck?

hashshim 21

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Sunday 17 August 2014 23:42

What the theoretical fuck?

Chibi_Kitten 24

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Thursday 28 August 2014 20:05

What I'd like to know, is how does one go about having theoretical, figurative, or mind sex. There is too much that sex-ed forgot to include in the lesson plan.

purplebabytacos1 14

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:40

That's uncalled for. He's a dentist, not a love expert. He should mind his own business. FYL

Nordrag 26

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Sunday 17 August 2014 0:25

It's not your buisness to decide what's his buisness. mind your buisness.

illegalbeagle69 23

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Sunday 17 August 2014 0:31

Well, it's not your business to tell her that it's not her business to tell someone else what's not their business, so mind you own business.

purplebabytacos1 14

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Sunday 17 August 2014 1:33

Her love life is none of our business. I don't understand how I could get out of her business, when I'm not trying to be in it in the first place. Also, how is her love life concerning him? That's just my opinion.

simplysarcastics 26

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Sunday 17 August 2014 2:48

Well, I was just minding my business, when I see all these comments about how we should just mind our business. But guys it's just business , nothing more so I decided to get in the business because I think we should just get along. Business...(°-°)/

vividpictures 17

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Sunday 17 August 2014 7:25

First of all, she didn't decide anything all she did was give her opinion and if it wasn't our business then it would not be on the "World Wide Web" where Practically everything is public.

alaen23 23

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:40

Well then you should be sorry for his wife

klorehore 24

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Saturday 16 August 2014 23:36

For being married to a dentist with a sense of humor? Some people need to take themselves less seriously and laugh at themselves once in a while :)

SpamPam 18

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Sunday 17 August 2014 2:51

What is OP is a lesbian though?

flufee2 27

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Sunday 17 August 2014 7:07

What kind of society do we live in where we cant even assume a person is straight? Thats messed up

Crofty92 17

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Sunday 17 August 2014 9:13

I'd call it an open and fair society.

1two3four5six 23

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Tuesday 19 August 2014 9:09

#76, then she shouldn't even be offended.

otumboo 10

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:41

if you take out your tonsils you won't have a gag reflex any more . Sorry that you had to hear that from your dentist .

laurenasabutton 26

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Saturday 16 August 2014 22:43

Um, that's not true.

tournamentdecide 33

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Saturday 16 August 2014 23:16

I don't have tonsils and I almost throw up every time I brush my tongue.

Mauskau 35

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Sunday 17 August 2014 0:09

Your tonsils have nothing to do with your gag reflex. You can train your gag reflex by putting pressure on your tongue and moving backwards, like when brushing your tongue.