By Sara777boo - 16/08/2014 18:43 - United States - Sherwood

Spicy
Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 450
You deserved it 13 710

Sara777boo tells us more.

This is my post, and let me explain :) I didn't realize it had fallen under the bed from the last nights sexy time. My dog found it and took it to her room before I even knew. But oh did my husbands fried spot it right away!

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How many times have I told you? Put up your toys when your finished playing with them.

Better than chewing the real thing

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Better than chewing the real thing

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@33 Next time, warn me. My mind wasn't lubed up for that pun.

And they used to say dogs mouths were cleaner than humans'...

#33, you bitch! :3 (disclaimer: bitch means female dog. don't chew me out for this!)

I would've lied and said it was those mint chewies for dogs, since he seemed to not know.

Oh that neighbor knew exactly what it was, he was just waiting for the owner to realise and get it back so he could find out who it belonged to

Your dog is such a dick for that.

How many times have I told you? Put up your toys when your finished playing with them.

I'm guessing she did and the dog found it in her hiding place

Looks like cats aren't the only ones that like fish

That's disgusting. Vaginas don't smell like fish unless you have a yeast infection or something, and even then it's not really that fishy. Sometimes women just have natural vaginal odors, and it doesn't mean they're "dirty". Vaginas have their own self-cleaning process, and if you just wash yourself with non-scented soap, everything should be fine. I'm so sick of people making fish jokes about female genitalia because it's not fucking accurate at all.

Calm the fuck down, its just a joke. jeezz..

#26 Your response seems fishy to me, that was obviously a joke.

Did the joke hit a little too close to home for you? If so go contact your gyno before the problem gets out of hand. Then you can put and end to your "fishy" problem.

Spot the Feminazi...

Overreaction but it's true...if there's a fish smell stay away, that means something ain't right

#26 if you over react that much to a joke the internet is not the place for you. Even being true that's a joke that's been around a long time and it probably won't be changing any time soon. I'm sure there is some annoying comparison you use that's false as well.

Menstruation causes a fishy smell, even if you don't have a yeast infection.

I bet you give the dog shit for spreading his toys all over the house. Your setting a bad example

If the dog can get it you didn't put it away properly! Better find a new spot that the dog can't get into and make sure to put it there after you've finished with it!

though that one needs some serious cleaning if not replaced...

I keep all my private personal things in a small lock box They aren't expensive and it keeps kids,pets, and others you don't want to see away from it.

You need to think long and hard about where youre gonna hide your dildo next time

I'm really curious as to where the dildo was, although I know that dogs have the talent of getting into where they don't belong. Oh well, FYL OP, but I'd suggest getting a new hiding spot!

I suggest getting a new dildo. Dog probably destroyed it. Even if not I don't think it would be sanitary.

It is possible to sanitize things you know, especially dildos which are often made of silicone and designed to be cleanable.

Then why can't you return them hmmmm?

Why would someone return a DILDO? It's not like it wouldn't work properly or anything.

Undies can be washed but you wouldn't wear someone else undies, right? Just like you wouldn't use someone's sex toy that they have used. And if you would, you should probably get a lesson on personal hygiene

You can return dildos actually. Never owned one but I know people who have.

Because why the fuck would anyone want to use a used dildo??? That's gross.

Dogs have a thing with chewing on them, according to FML

Them and used tampons, apparently.

#8 Instead of reading dog I read dong.. Well looks like this fml has dirtied my mind. I have had enough for a while. *Puts phone down, shakes head, douches brain.

Must've gone on a hunt after he smelt somethin' funny...

Maybe he got annoyed by you stealing all of his toys and saving them where he couldn't get to them so he decided to steal one of yours that he always saw you playing with.