Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
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Top comments
Xquisite1 28
Just tell him that "your" dick loves ******* "his" pussy. Problem solved.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
a brain fart over a real fart any day
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Comments (77)
vikky538 29
you can't blame him..when all the blood flows down for boner..brain does dart...
Silk_Routes 14
shit...did u checked him at once...lol
rockwrench 18
One thing you know for sure, he had pussy on his mind.
shredder217 16
I may try this with my girlfriend for the hell of it
ItsDutch 16
Well do you love ******* his pussy?
BenjaminKappheim 4
meh i wouldn't get turned off too much if i heard that
Person_Z 9
I'm laughing way harder at this than I should be xD
valdur444 2
"God, you love *******, my Pussy" Now it's just a weird nickname
bgon1350 4
he has secret desires that just came out
ihatedouchbags 17
I read this just so many times and I keep laughing harder each time! That's so funny! But with all seriousness, I would not worry about it, as you said, it was just a brain fart.