By boyishgirl / Friday 27 February 2015 19:14 / United States - Anchorage
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  MaT30123  |  19

It's funny how the first commenter got 80 likes, the second got 34 likes, and the third got 10 dislikes, while they all said basically the same thing

  randompizzaguy  |  17

I must have extremely weird friends. We all say shit like that all the time. She probably said that, actually noticing your weight loss.

Whenever my basketball playing friend eats a bunch we call him a fat ass. When someone gets a 98 on a test we call them a fucking retard. The list goes on. It's sarcastic humor. It doesn't reflect reality.

  baxwar  |  15

Well I mean what's a friend if they aren't honest with you. That's like telling a midget that he is tall as shit, it's just lying out of kindness but reality shows trust.

  sweetnsourrr  |  11

Not really worth losing a friend over unless the friend does it constantly. If everyone dumps a friend because they hurt their feelings one or couple of times, no one would have a friend. I'm not trying to sound harsh, but I don't take everything to the heart

  Brandi_Faith  |  33

47, there's honesty and then there's just being rude. Even if a friend did gain a lot of weight, there's no reason for the friend to be "honest" as you say, and comment on it. Unless the friend that gained the weight asked, then there's no reason to say anything. It drives me insane that people just excuse rudeness for being "honest." People do it all the time and in reality they're just being rude. There are lots of things that people could say that are honest, but it doesn't mean they should be said. I think people need to start going by the phrase "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing."

  Brandi_Faith  |  33

I think the world would be a happier place if people used their filters more and thought, "will what I'm saying hurt the other person? Is it necessary to say this?"

By  1dvs_bstd  |  41

I don't get people... if your friends don't tell you what is wrong with you or the straight up truth, they aren't 'good' friends and if they don't support your every little thing, they're terrible friend. I see a catch 22. It might have been a bad way to say it but OP, good that you lost weight, take that as 'challenge accepted' and lose more if you're up to it.

  1dvs_bstd  |  41

Take a second to read this, fml, before you think i'm condoning OP's insensitive friend. It takes OP 4 weeks to notice a change in himself or herself (ionno OP's gender). It takes his friends and family twice as long to notice. He is already trying which is good for him. What the friend said is hurtful but I'd want my friends to tell me the painful truth for me to try to change than to support me to an early grave.

  Brandi_Faith  |  33

I disagree. I think the comment was unnecessary and mean. Op didn't ask the friend what she thought about her weight or if she had gained any. So there was no reason to say anything. If the point of the comment was to motivate op to lose more weight because the friend was seriously concerned about their friends health, then they should have commented on the weight loss and encouraged op to keep up the hard work. Commenting on the lost weight and encouraging op to continue losing it is more effective than making op feel worse and making her think that the hard work of losing the weight didn't even work. People need to stop saying rude and mean comments and trying to pass it off as just being "honest" or "keeping it real," or "I'm not a fake person." Yes friends should be honest, but if you have to say something honest that may hurt the friends feelings, then it should be said from a place of love and it should be explained that what's being said is only because they love them and care about them, not to just say it.

  PresAgent  |  23

#59- I disagree. You can't sugarcoat everything to protect feelings. Sometimes tough love is necessary to get a point across. What's the point of friends if you can't be brutally honest with eachother? Sorry, but you can't coddle a person all the time, otherwise reality won't set in . Life is tough, the truth may be needed at times to prove it as such.

  ChibiChibi_fml  |  23

"I would go on the principle that nothing needed to be said, especially as the friend was wrong about the weight gain."

Goddess help me, on this I hate to be the Devil's advocate but since the OP has not seen their friend in "months" it is possible that the OP gained a bit of weight and then lost some of the weight they had gained. This would result in the friend seeing that the OP had gained weight, but the OP thinking that they had actually lost weight since they saw their friend.

Just for example in case I'm saying something in an unclear fashion. It could have played out that when the OP last saw her friend the OP weighed 120 lbs but hadn't/didn't weight themselves for a while. Then without them really noticing (we tend to miss gradual change) their weight went up to 140. The OP upon weighing themselves finds out what their weight is and begins working to lose weight. Now the next time they see their friend they weigh 130. Their friend didn't see the original gain or loss. So from the friends perspective the OP gained 10lbs but from the OP's perspective they lost 10lbs.

I am not saying that is the case. I am just saying that it is possible that the friend was not wrong about the weight gain.

  Fairyjoshy  |  13

Friends should never be *brutally* honest. Brutal honesty foregoes many things that are necessary to friendship. Brutal honesty is rarely ever productive.

Most people who claim to be brutally honest take more joy in the brutality than the honesty anyways.

If you can't be honest without being tactful, then you're being the wrong kind of honest.

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