Transportation: Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped...

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 21:26 - United Kingdom

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 686

You deserved it 3 448

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By carson28 - 17/12/2010 02:23 - United States

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 6 345

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 69

By Anonymous - 18/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 052

You deserved it 2 455

By WamBamSam - 21/11/2012 09:54 - United Kingdom - Kidderminster

Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 082

You deserved it 2 351

By Jessy - 14/10/2011 11:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 185

You deserved it 2 780

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 09:04 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 307

You deserved it 4 869

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 451

You deserved it 3 018

By Jehovah God - 07/03/2014 18:51 - United States - Richmond

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, a drunk guy limped in front of my car, unzipped, and started pissing on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 373

You deserved it 3 613

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 691

You deserved it 3 921

Bashed

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, wearing nothing offensive, minding my own business, when a car drove past and threw something that hit me really hard in the back of my head. It was a Bible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 138

crumsnatcha 4

Friday 9 October 2009 2:00

At least you weren't riding a motorcycle.

MoonyIce 0

Friday 9 October 2009 1:55

Aaaand that. That there is one of the funniest things I've read all damn day. Thank you.

Comments

jw90 18

Friday 9 October 2009 2:09

I guess that's what you'd call a shitty situation! :)

megamatt215 0

Monday 16 August 2010 9:50

*rimshot*

misspeg 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:24

besad_fml 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:27

There are a lot of shitty puns here (pun not intended)

tina_xox 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:27

ahhaha lol wtf is wrong with that man lol shitty situation

FloridaOranges 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:29

Well that guy was just bat shit crazy :D

FredoSNR 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:35

Honestly, this would have made my day.

z411811 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:36

omg best shit I heard all day

Bloodknight 22

Friday 9 October 2009 2:41

Bwahaha!

mr_miyagi 0

Friday 9 October 2009 2:57

well at least he didnt ask you for spare change

monster_tamer 11

Friday 9 October 2009 3:02

Holy shit! XD

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Awkward Family Weddings Public freakouts Bodyshaming AITA Transportation Cops Cars Kids Sexism Relatable Work Growing old Health Mental health Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Spiders Ironic Phobias Bikes

The Top

Today, I got home from working at KFC and hopped straight into the shower. I could see that the water was being tinged yellow by the grease that had got plastered on me at work and was now coming off, so I started gagging and almost threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 204

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 110

The Top

Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 88

Today, I woke up with a hangover. Reading my texts and emails, I then sort of remembered that in my drunken haze I'd booked a non-refundable flight to the wrong city for the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 992

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 111

You deserved it 2 600

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 386

You deserved it 14 239

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 067

You deserved it 16 795

Today, I was feeding my pets and playing with my puppy when I suddenly felt something behind me. My cat is on the arm of the couch steadily spanking my butt with his paw. I can't win! FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 233

Same thing different taste

You OK dude?

Bashed

Top comments

Comments