By branwen5 - 09/10/2009 02:26 - United States
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I don't know much about divorce proceedings but I am guessing this doesn't normally happen, so I would recommend maybe trying to get another judge for the case? Just a suggestion, don't know if it will help.
yeah, since when is employment a determining factor in granting a divorce? at the very least the plaintiff should be able to say "i waive my right to child support" or something. why would her husband even bother looking for a job if he knows getting one will immediately result in divorce and child support payments?
Since you supported him and the kids for the last three years, you should have to pay the child support and pay him spousal support. If you were jobless and he was supporting the family that is exactly what would happen, it shouldn't be any different because you are the woman in the relationship.
Yes, because everyone knows that you can just go to a different courtroom if you don't like the judge that's been assigned to your case. Seriously, do you people even think? You might as well go ahead and get the judge disbarred and removed from the bench since you're going to the trouble anyway. Never in my life have I heard of a judge denying a divorce. All you need if you both agree is to sign the papers and have a lawyer file them. The details of support and custody don't stop the divorce from happening. Unless you happen to live in a screwed up state like California where judges rewrite the laws instead of upholding them.
Did you say the "till death do us part" thing when you married him? Not that I'm trying to put any ideas in your head...
I'm calling bullshit. Unless you have some backwards ass hick for a judge, he shouldn't give two shits about bankrupting your already jobless husband for that child support money.
Or how about -gasp- he doesn't pay (alot) of child support as your husband is the poorest of you 2 or -bigger gasp- he takes care of the kids as he's the time and you pay him child support (assuming he treats the kids well).
oh yes, because this woman Im sure feels that leaving her kids in the hands of their dead beat father and paying him to sit on his ass all day is the appropriate compromise for this situation? Obviously if the man cannot hold down a job for three years, hes a deadbeat, and thats probably one of the reasons for the divorce. Your suggestion is to give him the kids, and reward him for being a lazy bastard by her paying child support? OMG get over yourself. Giving up your children and money is not -gasp- even remotely close to the answer to this situation. If anything, the judge should be ordering him to find a job/work.
You know, Barbie, a person who is unemployed for great lengths of time might not just do it cause they're a 'deadbeat'. For example, housewives are unemployed for great lengths of time, and getting the kids and getting rewarded for being 'lazy bastards', as you say, by getting child support (not to mention alimony) is *exactly* what happens. Giving up their children and their money is exactly what many many men do when this situation is reversed. Read the FML with a slight modification: Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my wife is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until she gets a job to pay child support. She hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML The only change is to the gender of the other party. Would you get all self-righteous about that? Way to respect gender equality...
So according to brilliantbarbie, my mother who has cared for me and my sisters all of our lives while my dad brings in the money is a DEADBEAT. So what if she drove us to school, cooked food, cleaned the house, took us to our friend's houses, she hasn't had a job for years, and is therefore a DEADBEAT.
Thing is, you're assuming the husband ever did anything to contribute to the household. True, it's an unfair assumption to say he was a deadbeat, but if the statement is correct, then it's correct. Me? I wouldn't assume that a woman in his position was a stay-at-home mom. Personal experience -- I happen to know a lot of deadbeat women too. From what I've seen personally, it's pretty hard to stay afloat with just one job and (maybe) a check from the government (also assuming the husband wasn't fired). It's hard to stay afloat with four jobs between two people with only one child.
Wait a sec. The husband hasn't worked in three years, and yet he's expected to pay child support? That doesn't make sense. If the wife is the bread-winner of the household, she should pay alimony (or child support, if the dad takes the kids). Sexist courts piss me off.