Health: Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious... - FML

By myleghurts - 12/11/2012 06:50 - Australia - Strathfield

Today, on my way to school, I was shouted at by an obnoxious businessman for sitting down on the train when a "full fare paying passenger" was standing. I would normally have given him the seat straight away, except I have a broken leg. I showed him my leg and crutches. He still made me get up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 369

You deserved it 3 479

There's no helping some people

This Charming Man

Age difference

By Anonymous - 01/09/2014 02:18 - United States - Bronx

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 859

You deserved it 3 238

By Cindy - 20/03/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 712

You deserved it 7 294

By Anonymous - 12/08/2013 23:58 - United States

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 167

You deserved it 5 188

By Rosie - 28/07/2018 05:00

Today, I got off a long shift and went to the bus stop. Upon arrival, I saw a girl giving a guy a blowjob. Disgusted, I tried to avoid them and sat on the bench to wait. The girl popped up angrily and looked over at me. "Can't you give us some privacy?!" This is the only bus stop nearby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 981

You deserved it 282

Not gonna happen

By how bout no! - 09/10/2020 17:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years said that he wants to marry and spend his life with me. But first he wants to go be wild and single for a few years before settling down. Not only does he not see a problem with this, he expects me to wait and be faithful to him while he “gets it out of his system”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 106

By birthday girl - 26/07/2014 04:55 - United States - Toledo

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 828

You deserved it 4 156

By down trodden - 05/09/2013 07:45 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 361

You deserved it 3 294

By LoveTheElder - 11/05/2016 01:38 - United States - San Clemente

Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 966

You deserved it 1 325

By Mirorbo - 11/06/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 317

You deserved it 3 674

By DomesticPatrol - 07/01/2017 02:07 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I just patrolled my entire house with a fucking hammer and flashlight because my cat stepped on a fucking creaky floorboard. It's 2 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 598

You deserved it 1 746

By Failed Artist - 30/08/2015 04:49 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my family was cleaning out our basement when I noticed an empty wall. I asked my grandma if I could put a picture up. She replied, "I don't want your ugly drawings on the wall". I wasn't talking about my drawings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 898

You deserved it 1 720

By EpicFail - 04/02/2009 23:29 - United States

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 683

You deserved it 15 873

By oped01 - 18/10/2016 00:15 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 903

You deserved it 959

By Anonymous - 15/04/2014 16:37 - United States - Erie

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 621

You deserved it 10 029

Our soul

By baddream - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at my grandmother's funeral I tried my hardest not to cry, only allowing tears to fall and not making any noise, to be respectful at her funeral. Afterwards, my mother tells my father that I didn't cry, which obviously meant that I didn't love my grandmother and had no soul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 904

You deserved it 4 731

Whoops

By Anonymous - 28/09/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 699

You deserved it 35 810

By thats_not_good - 28/05/2009 18:15 - United States

Today, I was getting my first tattoo done. My parents told me it was a bad idea. My friends' parents told me it was a bad idea. I told them that people get tattoos done all the time and nothing goes wrong. 50 min into the tattoo on my back, the artist says "Oh shit, shit, shit. We can fix this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 301

You deserved it 56 123

GHOSTS!

By fml_anon - 19/03/2016 08:33 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to spend a depressingly long time convincing my 29-year-old husband that our house isn't haunted and that the door slammed shut because it was windy outside. I repeat, "29-year-old husband" and "haunted". It's like I'm married to a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 047

You deserved it 4 228

By shtidsfpa - 18/06/2014 21:06 - United States - Shelby

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 319

You deserved it 55 760

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 468

You deserved it 8 074

By scoobses - 02/10/2015 00:45 - United States

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and say, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker". I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 782

You deserved it 1 879

By irresponsible - 14/08/2010 20:41 - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 914

You deserved it 8 843

By yapDogs - 10/05/2015 01:43 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I sent a $120 bouquet of flowers for mother's day. When I called tonight see if my Mom got them, she replied that they were still on the doorstep because she "didn't want the dogs to get excited and start barking" when she opened the front door to bring them in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 776

You deserved it 2 367

By BowTiesAr3Cool - 25/12/2014 16:36 - United States - Irving

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 901

You deserved it 2 829

By "7thwardlord" - 21/08/2017 16:00

Today, I decided to be nice and "drop" a twenty in my grandma's house for her to find. She injured her back while picking it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 895

You deserved it 826

By TeamVomit - 27/08/2017 23:15

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to surprise him and caught him with another girl. As my boyfriend got up to explain himself, I, in a state of shock, violently threw up on him (and partially her). His mum had let me in the house. At least I know whose side she's on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 761

You deserved it 298

By unwanted - 11/08/2009 20:31 - Canada

Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 034

You deserved it 6 542

By mrs14 - 11/09/2012 02:04 - United States

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 439

You deserved it 31 132

By Preggobride - 14/08/2018 23:35

Today, I am 7 weeks pregnant and dealing with severe morning sickness. Not to worry though, it should get better at 14 weeks, right after I get back from my honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 630

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 12:56 - United States

Today, I received a "diamond ring" in Mafia Wars (a facebook app) from my boyfriend of 3 years. Along with the ring came a message. It read, "Will you marry me?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 373

You deserved it 9 953

By deucelututi - 31/05/2009 12:03 - United States

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 146

You deserved it 81 060

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 572

You deserved it 56 670

Wait til he Googles it

By what a fuckin idiot - 09/10/2021 05:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my now ex-boyfriend left in a rage. He went through my bathroom drawers and saw that I had Vagisil. He’s legitimately convinced that vagisil is used to treat STIs. Moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 155

By TooYoungForThis - 30/06/2013 04:36 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 092

You deserved it 4 972

By emergencyroom - 15/03/2014 12:21 - United States - Parkton

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 394

You deserved it 9 359

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 18:30 - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 554

You deserved it 4 549

By nightput - 17/11/2008 06:02 - France

Today, I took my driving test. I spent 30 minutes with the handbrake on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 421

You deserved it 28 616

By fun - 16/06/2013 04:54 - United States

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 941

You deserved it 4 572

By Saraitkddh - 06/10/2018 05:00

Today, my friend told me that my brother sent her a picture of his dick. How did she tell me this? By sending me the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 326

You deserved it 271

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 599

You deserved it 2 815

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:14

Should have stayed sat down, some people are just plain horrible. Hope your leg heals soon :)

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:15

what an asshole, i would have held on to that seat for dear life.

Comments

thisiswilli_fml 5

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:13

What a douche.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:14

Should have stayed sat down, some people are just plain horrible. Hope your leg heals soon :)

loloalltheway 23

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:18

OP should have done what Rosa Parks did.

ManInTheMachine 19

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:22

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

loloalltheway 23

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:41

No, obviously I meant not moving even if the man complains. It is not like nowadays you could get thrown off the bus if you sit down even if a stranger tells you to move.

ManInTheMachine 19

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:44

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

decidedlyvague 11

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 17:41

The obvious response is to ignore the shit out of that lady.

aussieaccents 7

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 18:44

False. OP should've hit the man with his crutches.

SamanthaCassieL 10

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 22:24

my question is: where the hell is everyone else on this train? if I was there I would have given up my seat so OP would be able to stay seated. I would also tell him he is acting like a 16 year old spoiled princess and should grow up because only adults are hard working business men, not little high school girls.

tjv3 10

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 23:54

He made you get up ? Or did you just not "stand your ground "

Send a private message

Tuesday 13 November 2012 5:55

OP why did you get up for him?? You need stand up for yourself bro, gees...

Send a private message

Tuesday 13 November 2012 9:05

I agree. I'd have given him the full fare of my crutch up his ass

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:14

Sometimes you just have to ignore people…

thatpeachyperson 12

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:18

It's a bit hard to ignore an asshole businessman shouting at you on public transport.

biggestfan23 11

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:36

He should have just stood up for himself...

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:41

You mean he should have sat down for himself.

thatpeachyperson 12

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:42

34- +1 Internet for you.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 23:49

You either have a small eyeball or there is an eye inbetween a baby's lips

Send a private message

Tuesday 13 November 2012 22:49

I wouldn't have gotten up

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:15

what an asshole, i would have held on to that seat for dear life.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:26

...and stuck his crutch up the "businessman's" ass.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:32

23 - That would be an interesting next trip to the hospital.

whostolemylama 12

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 17:46

The Llama has spoken!

xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18

Send a private message

Wednesday 19 February 2014 12:50

Businessman =/= gentleman

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:15

He made you? You should of stayed seated. I know what NSW transport is like, don't give in to the bully if you are injured.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:34

Would it be classified as harassment?

ManInTheMachine 19

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:16

You're so selfish OP! Being a cripple is no excuse to make a man who works hard for his money stand up. What if his legs get tired? He works hard for his money, so you better treat him right.

VaneJP 15

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 17:21

The business man is being rude and selfish and the man working isn't helping him. If he has tired legs he should deal with it the guy can only stand on one leg the other has two useful ones let him stand

folfg0 12

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 17:22

^fail idiot. He/she was being sarcastic. -.-

ManInTheMachine 19

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 17:25

Holy shit, I wasn't going to complain about getting thumbed down, but is that seriously why? Do people actually think I was being serious? Jesus, where has everyone's sense humor gone? I would've thought the song reference would've at least given you a clue that I was joking. Oh, sometimes...

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 18:15

mitm It should be a general common sense rule to almost never take your comment serious lol.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 18:16

Oh sometimes.... I get a good feeling, yeeaaa.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 19:08

The businessman could have gotten other passengers who are able to stand rather than OP you know, try to think in the perspective of someone who is injured...

MindFreakazoid 10

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:16

What a prissy twat. He can stand. Unless he's not human... Pfft, he's a business man, of course he's not human.

CoolRainbowdash 15

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:16

People are just assholes.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:16

Yeah I wouldn't have gotten up. I would've smacked him in the knees with my crutches and then got up saying "now you have a reason to have the seat" he's a low life for making you move OP, sorry you had to deal with that :( hope your leg heals soon!

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:16

Throw a couple coins at him and tell him you are now a full fare paying customer. If he still argues, break his leg with your crutches.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:32

Well that escalated quickly.

Send a private message

Monday 12 November 2012 16:35

16- hmm... Two men in bikinis mud fighting. With broken legs.... this should be interesting. Lol.

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 16

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 28

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 70