Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML
Today, I took a shower and went to put clothes on after, only to find no clothes in my closet. My mom took them all and hid them. No idea why. No idea when I will get them back. FML
Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML
Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML
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Top comments
qzamml 0
wow my mouse double clicks sorry. i meant to say...uhh you probably shouldn't let anyone sit there...they might stick to the backseat.. =O
comfydragon 0
More like she put out for overtime.
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Comments (168)
Menick47 0
I don't want to be the FIRST to tell you, but your mom has sex more than you think.
schnitzel5 0
what the ****! #26 looks like a ******* DEMON!!!!!!! where are her eyes??????WTF!!!!!
Ajjas013 6
Talk about demons, your question mark freaks the **** out of me. RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ecnassianer 0
Your face looks funny, Ajjas. ^o^ In a good way, though. x3
Daddys_Defect 0
I think PUT OUT for over time would be more accurate...
Ajjas013 6
Check again, I think I left a drumstick back there.
geordieboysgirl 0
Maybe she had a change of clothes for the gym or something and dropped them. Seriously, you really think your ma can't keep track of her knickers?!?!
astro_plastic 0
Where the **** does your mother work? Don't answer that.
mps91 0
On the streets...? I know you said don't answer, but I couldn't help myself
kevooo_fml 0
FAIL WHALE
timk_fml 2
jealous that your mom has more action in the back than u?
maddie1 0
hahahaha *****
tereshay 0
ahh, clever way to write it! sorry thou!
Twi_lover_EC 6
Ewwwwww! That put the wrong image in my head!