By Elizabeth Ann - 4/10/2019 22:00 Technically, that's stealing Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML I agree, your life sucks 1528 You deserved it 125 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bastards - 5/6/2014 20:05 - Netherlands - Den Haag Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML I agree, your life sucks 57869 You deserved it 4191 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bear92 - 19/6/2009 04:25 - United States Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML I agree, your life sucks 47389 You deserved it 5879 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unknown - 2/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML I agree, your life sucks 64083 You deserved it 6747 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nightDREAMERms - 23/4/2011 14:55 - United States Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML I agree, your life sucks 48581 You deserved it 7475 245 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By holyshitsnacks - 18/3/2014 22:53 - Canada - Woodstock Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML I agree, your life sucks 37380 You deserved it 7787 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tara - 1/5/2011 00:19 - United States Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML I agree, your life sucks 40346 You deserved it 5606 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sunitgir - 21/10/2019 06:00 Gordon Ramsey is furious Today, my mother decided to cook dinner for us and used rice that she had in her cupboard. While helping out, I stirred the dish and noticed black flecks. Turns out they were rice weevils. She tried to convince me it was "burnt garlic" and served it to the rest of the family. FML I agree, your life sucks 1533 You deserved it 93 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By f*** - 6/3/2009 00:39 - United States Today, I was meeting my sister's fiancé. I went to an internet cafe before I went to her house for dinner with them. I was on a computer and there was this really attractive man next to me. I was flirting with him and we exchanged numbers. Turns out, he is my sister's fiancé. FML I agree, your life sucks 73812 You deserved it 7347 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 31/3/2009 01:13 - United States Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML I agree, your life sucks 111123 You deserved it 6007 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah - 25/8/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML I agree, your life sucks 71442 You deserved it 10366 222 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Beestings - 24/3/2013 05:14 - United States Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML I agree, your life sucks 37337 You deserved it 6502 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/7/2020 14:00 Shocking reaction Today, I was replacing some outlets for work and I got surprise-electrified. I threw my wire strippers in the air while yelling, "Oh fuck me." The homeowner and his 2 kids were standing 3 feet away. He was not happy. FML I agree, your life sucks 886 You deserved it 410 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck right off - 4/4/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML I agree, your life sucks 35392 You deserved it 2882 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By no compassion - 16/4/2013 10:50 - United States - Aurora Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML I agree, your life sucks 45209 You deserved it 3990 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MyS3lf - 19/4/2011 02:33 - United States Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML I agree, your life sucks 31996 You deserved it 3295 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By YOUNG1441 - 29/6/2016 21:50 - United Kingdom - Cramlington Today, after finishing a two-day course for work, I was informed that the days used will either be unpaid or used up as holidays, as it was for improvement of myself and not the company. They put me on the course without my knowledge until the weekend before. FML I agree, your life sucks 11053 You deserved it 764 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/10/2014 20:46 - United States - Gainesville Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 39440 You deserved it 5680 248 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rayraydayday - 21/3/2015 04:25 - United States - Englewood Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML I agree, your life sucks 31217 You deserved it 10873 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By plasticfantastic - 25/4/2009 12:18 - United Kingdom Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML I agree, your life sucks 52587 You deserved it 9593 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nicole - 20/2/2012 01:14 - United States Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML I agree, your life sucks 33432 You deserved it 3224 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pregz - 27/2/2015 22:23 - United States Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML I agree, your life sucks 33305 You deserved it 2606 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By spadesmollusques - 6/6/2016 05:13 - France - Strasbourg Today, my 10-year-old son introduced me to Tom, his new best friend, and insisted we have him over to dinner. Tom is a slug. FML I agree, your life sucks 12951 You deserved it 1306 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By toiletgirl - 14/12/2009 23:26 - United States Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 10911 You deserved it 63586 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - 6/5/2013 18:08 - United States - Poway Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML I agree, your life sucks 64314 You deserved it 4964 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Joel - 28/10/2018 15:30 Today, I got a ticket for doing 38mph in a 45mph zone. Apparently you can be cited for "impeding traffic" even when you're the only car on the road. FML I agree, your life sucks 2831 You deserved it 1035 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 29/10/2009 05:15 - Australia Today, I got a free temporary tattoo of a scorpion in a packet of potato chips and decided to wear it on my wrist. Whilst I was in the shower, I got a shock, thinking it was a spider. I then lost balance and slipped, banging my head on the faucet. FML I agree, your life sucks 12261 You deserved it 43427 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ahhwtf - 18/8/2009 11:47 - United States Today, my nose was itchy. As I reached towards it to itch it, I sneezed ridiculously hard. I punched myself in the eye and now it's all purple and puffy. FML I agree, your life sucks 45628 You deserved it 9755 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Muscle - 6/3/2009 21:07 - Canada Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML I agree, your life sucks 68862 You deserved it 3927 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rebecca2135 - 1/10/2018 22:05 Today, I gave a speech at a charity fundraiser. I didn't realize how close I was standing to the fan, which automatically went on. As soon as I said, "this is why you should pledge," my dress flew up. I then learned how quickly phones can take pictures and emails of my underwear can be sent. FML I agree, your life sucks 3409 You deserved it 288 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Marlon4136" - 14/9/2017 01:30 Today, as an usher at a beauty pageant, I was helping other patrons when a group walked past me and sat. I politely asked to see their tickets, but one of the women got angry and ripped hers up to throw the pieces in my face. Without a ticket, I had to kick her out. The police were called. FML I agree, your life sucks 3753 You deserved it 261 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mytoehurts - 26/6/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 28297 You deserved it 2839 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notsurprised - 1/8/2011 12:55 - United States Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML I agree, your life sucks 37349 You deserved it 3132 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By holy - 21/10/2009 21:03 - United Kingdom Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML I agree, your life sucks 16007 You deserved it 33324 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chocolaty - 22/7/2016 00:48 - Australia - Geelong Today, I spiced things up by lying on the bed and pouring melted white chocolate on myself. I called out to my fiancé to come in. He was 'checking' his favourite scene in Batman vs Superman and couldn't hear me. I was stuck unable to move for ten minutes until he finally heard me. FML I agree, your life sucks 13483 You deserved it 4343 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wtfbruhimmovingout - 28/11/2015 02:38 - Canada - Toronto Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML I agree, your life sucks 23283 You deserved it 5479 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crusty - 19/12/2012 20:53 Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML I agree, your life sucks 25212 You deserved it 17646 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LifeFucksUsAll - 19/8/2009 19:44 - Canada Today, I was on a date with a guy, we were sitting in a restaurant having a fairly good conversation, when I had to go to the washroom. I left the table and when I came back, he was gone. Along with my wallet and car keys. FML I agree, your life sucks 49633 You deserved it 13038 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fmlman - 15/3/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44266 You deserved it 6338 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/11/2018 12:00 Today, I was staying at my friend's house, which is next door. Our houses are the same layout, only mirrored, so tonight when I got out of bed in the dark I instinctively turned to my left, thinking I was entering the bathroom, and fell down the stairs. Three of my teeth are missing. FML I agree, your life sucks 3306 You deserved it 397 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poppet2010 - 17/1/2010 15:58 - France Today, my uncle died. It was also my grandpa's 85th birthday. His reaction to the death? "Best birthday gift ever!" FML I agree, your life sucks 35561 You deserved it 2821 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, its been so long since I've been single, I’ve reached the age where I need Viagra just to masturbate since there’s no woman in my life to save the... I agree, your life sucks 1074 You deserved it 190 4 Comments
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me with more guys than I can count on one hand. I'm not sure what's worse, realizing this... I agree, your life sucks 1852 You deserved it 179 11 Comments
