By Elizabeth Ann - 4/10/2019 22:00 Technically, that's stealing Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML I agree, your life sucks 1540 You deserved it 127 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 25/1/2017 02:00 Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 2742 You deserved it 4938 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alisterine - 24/8/2014 17:31 - United States - Chesterfield Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 41139 You deserved it 14540 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By deadandwasted - 20/2/2010 08:20 - United States Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML I agree, your life sucks 34438 You deserved it 2430 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brokeandcardless - 13/1/2016 12:15 - United Kingdom - Cardiff Today, my card got declined at Subway, so I walked to the nearest cashpoint thirty minutes away to frantically figure out how much cash I had in my card. As I went to pull my card out of my purse, it slipped from my grip and fell into the sewer. The guy behind me snorted with laughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 24745 You deserved it 2580 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Joe thomas - 24/7/2011 04:22 - United States Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML I agree, your life sucks 34862 You deserved it 9408 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/4/2015 12:28 - United Kingdom - Dundee Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML I agree, your life sucks 42247 You deserved it 2796 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML I agree, your life sucks 9611 You deserved it 33120 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By .............. - 20/7/2013 17:43 - Germany - Wadgassen Today, my friend set up a profile for me on an adult dating site as a surprise. It was a surprise alright. The picture he set as my avatar was one of me stark naked, which I sent to my ex shortly before he dumped me. FML I agree, your life sucks 43112 You deserved it 9413 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Timmay - 5/6/2009 23:43 - United States Today, I was on the deck of a sailboat and I started feeling seasick. I bent over the edge to throw up. After I stood back up, the wind changed direction and the boon swung around, knocking me into the open ocean. FML I agree, your life sucks 44719 You deserved it 4627 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2010 00:01 - United States Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML I agree, your life sucks 32758 You deserved it 2832 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mrdentist - 2/12/2010 13:20 Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 69682 You deserved it 5510 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 30/9/2016 05:53 - United States - Houston Today, I found out my brand new $3,000 mattress that is supposed to relieve my back pain works amazingly. I only discovered this because my wife, son, daughter, dog, and two cats are all asleep on it and not waking up. FML I agree, your life sucks 11734 You deserved it 1004 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00 Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 2231 You deserved it 1453 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By filipkm - 28/4/2016 22:04 - Slovenia - Ljubljana Today, I learned that you should always check the inside of your guitar to avoid a snake bite. Nope, strings don't help. FML I agree, your life sucks 12498 You deserved it 815 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dana - 29/1/2010 18:59 - United States Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhoods garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML I agree, your life sucks 26005 You deserved it 3166 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gr8 - 28/9/2018 17:30 Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and didn't have reception to notify my college, I have been irreversibly dropped from all my classes without a refund and will have to reapply for January. FML I agree, your life sucks 2370 You deserved it 501 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By e_edge - 5/6/2011 06:48 - United States Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML I agree, your life sucks 46617 You deserved it 8813 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By idiot - 19/11/2016 06:48 - United States - Wausau Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 8695 You deserved it 2745 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sam - 15/12/2010 20:11 - United States Today, I got a text just before class that my partner didn't finish their half of our 30 page research paper because "That class is stupid". FML I agree, your life sucks 40725 You deserved it 4079 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/4/2013 11:23 - Australia - Mackay Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML I agree, your life sucks 34818 You deserved it 5059 207 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/9/2010 07:48 - Australia Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML I agree, your life sucks 32932 You deserved it 3725 238 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 18/11/2018 05:00 Today, while buying Red Dead Redemption 2, the cashier spoiled the ending. FML I agree, your life sucks 3104 You deserved it 307 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mr. Unlucky - 27/5/2018 19:30 - United States - Woodbridge Anti-Dad Today, after suffering a severe brain injury and receiving a large amount of money from the lawsuit for physical and mental rehab, I found out that my dad stole it all and spent it on himself. FML I agree, your life sucks 5016 You deserved it 226 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Forever alone - 1/5/2015 14:24 - United States - Lincoln Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML I agree, your life sucks 26630 You deserved it 12422 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/9/2010 19:02 - Chile Today, I gave my boss the paperwork to approve my commissions for the month. She wouldn't sign it, saying, "Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel that I've signed this before." She hasn't. I have no commission, and my boss is crazy. FML I agree, your life sucks 30464 You deserved it 2465 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 1/10/2012 23:19 - United States - Topeka Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML I agree, your life sucks 24347 You deserved it 1724 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By H8TR - 26/8/2010 13:32 - United States Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML I agree, your life sucks 16549 You deserved it 53850 383 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By handyman13 - 25/7/2011 05:43 - United States Today, I found out that I have a warrant for my arrest, because I was fishing without a fishing license. FML I agree, your life sucks 21861 You deserved it 34041 242 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By smurfette7413 - 13/10/2020 05:01 Monster couch Today, my boyfriend and I were having a little fun when the pull-out couch decided to try to eat us. Now I have a broken nose and my boyfriend keeps making jokes about the "human eating couch." FML I agree, your life sucks 881 You deserved it 136 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By clutzasaurus - 3/5/2013 05:35 - United States - Odessa Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 49608 You deserved it 3418 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nekogirl15 - 27/10/2011 01:38 - United States Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML I agree, your life sucks 30061 You deserved it 3794 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By still learning - 26/2/2012 17:42 - Canada Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML I agree, your life sucks 25924 You deserved it 7897 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/7/2016 16:33 Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML I agree, your life sucks 13340 You deserved it 915 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/10/2011 18:54 - United States Today, I learned that when I got my driver's permit, I agreed to be the designated driver for my family. FML I agree, your life sucks 27266 You deserved it 4203 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/8/2014 17:36 - Sweden - Kristianstad Today, while I was waiting for the train, a woman sat next to me. Her dog jumped up between us and I started petting it. She took this to mean we were now close enough for her to tell me in detail about her experience so far going through the menopause. FML I agree, your life sucks 39942 You deserved it 4405 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Littlebigben - 19/7/2017 05:00 Today, I found a cellphone. I went through the contacts and called the one listed as 'dad' to inform them I could leave it at a cash register of the store I found it in or take it to the police station so they could pick it up. They then called the police, insisting I stole it. FML I agree, your life sucks 5544 You deserved it 316 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tom - 10/3/2011 11:09 Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML I agree, your life sucks 42152 You deserved it 3575 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AussieG75 - 21/7/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML I agree, your life sucks 25257 You deserved it 2519 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/3/2014 22:05 - United States - Littleton Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML I agree, your life sucks 56398 You deserved it 5168 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/12/2012 05:01 - Canada Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML I agree, your life sucks 44697 You deserved it 7886 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it... I agree, your life sucks 86 You deserved it 27 0 Comments
Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my... I agree, your life sucks 963 You deserved it 185 6 Comments
