Intimacy: Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/03/2015 15:02 - Australia - Mangerton

Spicy

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 578

You deserved it 3 470

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Same thing different taste

Sick burn

By HotMarshmallowHead - 18/07/2022 16:00

Today, I was out camping with my boyfriend and his friends. I asked my boyfriend to give me a roasted marshmallow, asking him if it was cooled down and he said yes. I put it in my mouth and it was piping hot. They all laughed to the point of tears, all while videoing me screaming and running in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 168

You deserved it 290

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 526

By Noname - 14/03/2009 05:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146 891

You deserved it 11 788

By more than I wanted to know - 13/05/2013 19:10 - Italy - San Giustino

Spicy

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 196

You deserved it 5 876

By Anon - 23/07/2017 05:00

Spicy

Today, I went camping. The night was calm and quiet, so we went to our separate tents to sleep. I closed my eyes, listening to the distant waves and my father playing porn in the tent beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 167

You deserved it 475

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Spicy

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 696

You deserved it 5 204

By johnnydoe6969 - 20/11/2011 23:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 765

You deserved it 46 182

By atleasthelocalsarenice - 04/03/2017 12:00

Today, while camping alone in an isolated area, I was woken up at 3 a.m. by a fellow camper, who then offered me a crayfish and a romantic beach walk as a way of flirtation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 440

You deserved it 607

MAKE IT STOOOOOP!

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 05:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 666

You deserved it 5 068

By confused_girl - 01/08/2013 05:10 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Spicy

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said, "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 396

You deserved it 5 039

Next

Top comments

Kallian_fml 21

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:08

I wish you'd given us more detail, OP, my imagination is terrible!

Cian_1 28

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:09

I really want you to re-enact this, film it and give us a link. Sounds hilarious. :P

Comments

Excelz 10

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:07

That's hot.

Kallian_fml 21

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:08

I wish you'd given us more detail, OP, my imagination is terrible!

lnheritance 19

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:16

Soft, melting, milk chocolate between the sweet sticky marshmallows pillows and graham crackers. Mmmm. I mean, I'm sorry..

_ashole 10

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:39

I was sitting here trying to figure out how that played out... and then I read # 9s comment.

Kallian_fml 21

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:41

Damn it #9! Now I don't know if I'm hungry or horny...

Cortezthe1st 23

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:41

Just picture what the melted marshmallows represented.

Just_A_Tree 20

Thursday 19 March 2015 1:03

The marshmallow melts in satisfaction as the red hot roaster penetrated it and made it immediately sticky. As the marshmallow is slowly turned in different positions, it gets closer and closer to finishing. And when it's done, it leaves a white sticky goo on the roaster, and if done properly, the inside of the marshmallow. Is that enough detail for you, or is it still not enough to paint a mental image?

Kallian_fml 21

Thursday 19 March 2015 1:25

That was beautiful #22. Does marshmallow **** exist?

SystemofaBlink41 27

Thursday 19 March 2015 3:50

I am so sure it does, if you look hard enough.

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 19 March 2015 4:18

@#25 see rule 34

zach205 24

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:09

Well fork is only 1 letter away...

Cian_1 28

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:13

Ooh, how do you 'furk' someone?

myanichole 22

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:13

Or 2

sstahpp 33

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:21

Hahahahaha...furk

zach205 24

Thursday 19 March 2015 1:14

Wow, I failed there, I deserve some thumbs down for that *facepalm* I give everyone the right to call me an idiot for that

opticeez 7

Thursday 19 March 2015 13:42

Idiot

jackthekeeper 24

Tuesday 22 December 2015 17:07

ah fock me... it kinda works with the right accent

Cian_1 28

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:09

I really want you to re-enact this, film it and give us a link. Sounds hilarious. :P

TCRII 29

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:12

Was the marshmallow on the fork burning in fire for premarital sex?

Fymlife 14

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:15

Well at least the person giving the "talk" wanted to make sure you were educated about safe sex!

ShadowGenius 12

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:19

Is it weird that I want marshmallows now?

xleanne_aLly 23

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:26

Nope, I want smores ♡.

haddiej 21

Thursday 19 March 2015 1:31

That depends on what you want them for...

ShadowGenius 12

Thursday 19 March 2015 2:47

What a consenting man and marshmallow do is their business.

whycantisignup 24

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:19

Not gonna lie, that's forked up.

ashieme2009 12

Thursday 19 March 2015 13:07

According to #3 that's "furked" up.

quinny_1024 18

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:20

One way or another you are going to eventually learn about it

lizabethp 11

Thursday 19 March 2015 0:28

That's hilarious and hopefully you will feel the same eventually. Though I understand now how awkward it was but may be useful.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 786

You deserved it 3 961

Today, my nosey louse of a coworker went to HR and told them I was snorting drugs at my desk. I was using nasal saline, as the dry winter weather wreaks havoc on my sinuses. The fact that they even brought me in pisses me off beyond words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 75

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 520

You deserved it 2 320

Today, as an usher at a beauty pageant, I was helping other patrons when a group walked past me and sat. I politely asked to see their tickets, but one of the women got angry and ripped hers up to throw the pieces in my face. Without a ticket, I had to kick her out. The police were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 893

You deserved it 277

Today, I was with my family at a buffet getting dessert. As I had my chocolate cake in hand, I grabbed an extra slice of cheesecake for my mom because I knew she would like a slice. Upon returning to my table, a couple walking behind me commented, "See, that's why Americans are so obese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 048

You deserved it 9 175

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 684

You deserved it 4 581

Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 639

You deserved it 11 013

Today, I went jogging. It was cold but I dressed lightly because I overheat when I exercise. Unfortunately, I locked myself out. My wife returned four hours later to find me spooning our dog in the doghouse to keep from freezing to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 919

You deserved it 961